you believe that shit about losing half her brain?" Drewcila asked
"It could happen," Van Gar shrugged.
"Maybe she's jus puttin' it on so that she doesn't have to fuck 'im. You know, kindah like 'Not tonight, dear, half my brain is gone.'"
"You are such a sick, skeptical bitch. I can't believe that you, of all people, wouldn't believe her story . . ."
"Ah, come on, Van. A girl shakes her hips the right way and you believe she's virginal. If I was her, I'd be looking to take this fucker down. And what better way than to say 'I don't remember where the Royal safe is, I don't remember the combination', and then when they believe you, Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am! You take every fucking dime from the kingdom, and head off for parts unknown with Joe-Joe the horse-hung boy."
"See, that's what I'm talking about. This guy could have had a perfectly good reason for not coming after his wife before now."
"Yeah. Like he's boffin' the serving girl, and the upstairs and down stairs maids." Drew laughed. "Meanwhile, she's waiting tables on Jors for five years with half a brain."
"She didn't say she only has half a brain. She certainly does not seem like a half wit."
"My point exactly. It's all an act."
"Just because you are a vindictive bitch doesn't mean that everyone else is." Van Gar shook his head.
"I am not a vindictive bitch. Well, I may be a bitch, but I am not vindictive. I simply have a very strong sense of justice . . ."
"You've already tried this guy and found him guilty. I think this guy really does love his wife, and that he just couldn't find her. If he didn't love her, would he be paying twenty thousand iggys to us, and God only knows how much to Erik?"
"You've got a point there," Drew said, thinking for a moment. That was an awful lot of money. "Ah, but how do we know that isn't just a spit in the bucket for him?"
"I swear Drew, you would find bacteria in the milk of humanoid kindness," Van said. "Do you always have to be such a pessimist?"
"What's with all the labels, Van? Are you really mad at me, or are you just trying to increase your negative vocabulary?"
Van Gar laughed. "You're impossible."
"If I was, I wouldn't be here."
The ship rocked violently. Drew looked at Van Gar.
"The green wire goes to the detection system," they said in unison.
They jumped to their feet, spilling beer everywhere and ran for the gun cabinet, where they grabbed the two biggest, ugliest rifles they had and started at a dead run for the cargo bay.
Facto stepped out of his cabin.
"What's going on?" he asked, stepping into their way when he realized they weren't going to stop. "What is it?"
The ship lurched again, and they were all thrown into the wall."We're being boarded," Van Gar told him, regaining his footing.
"By whom?"
"By fucking Boy Scouts! Who the fuck do you think?"
Drew shoved past him.
Taralin stepped out of her cabin, and Drew saw iggys falling into a bottomless pit.
"Get her and go lock yourselves on the bridge. Don't open the door for anyone. The ship is on a set course, and with any luck you'll reach Vares 7 before they can break down the door."
"What is all this?" Taralin demanded.
"Pirates. We're being boarded," Van Gar told her. Then chased after Drew, who had already started back down the hall.
"No! Wait!" Facto started to go after them, and Taralin grabbed his arm.
"There's nothing we can do, Facto. I have faith in her ability to deal with this."
"But, my Lady . . ."
"Let's do as we were told."
Van Gar and Drew stood on either side of the door to the cargo bay.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Let's party. I'll take point."
Drew punched a button and the doors opened. Van Gar jumped through the door and opened fire. Drew came in after him, and the door clanged shut behind them as someone returned their fire. They ran for cover behind a pile
"It could happen," Van Gar shrugged.
"Maybe she's jus puttin' it on so that she doesn't have to fuck 'im. You know, kindah like 'Not tonight, dear, half my brain is gone.'"
"You are such a sick, skeptical bitch. I can't believe that you, of all people, wouldn't believe her story . . ."
"Ah, come on, Van. A girl shakes her hips the right way and you believe she's virginal. If I was her, I'd be looking to take this fucker down. And what better way than to say 'I don't remember where the Royal safe is, I don't remember the combination', and then when they believe you, Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am! You take every fucking dime from the kingdom, and head off for parts unknown with Joe-Joe the horse-hung boy."
"See, that's what I'm talking about. This guy could have had a perfectly good reason for not coming after his wife before now."
"Yeah. Like he's boffin' the serving girl, and the upstairs and down stairs maids." Drew laughed. "Meanwhile, she's waiting tables on Jors for five years with half a brain."
"She didn't say she only has half a brain. She certainly does not seem like a half wit."
"My point exactly. It's all an act."
"Just because you are a vindictive bitch doesn't mean that everyone else is." Van Gar shook his head.
"I am not a vindictive bitch. Well, I may be a bitch, but I am not vindictive. I simply have a very strong sense of justice . . ."
"You've already tried this guy and found him guilty. I think this guy really does love his wife, and that he just couldn't find her. If he didn't love her, would he be paying twenty thousand iggys to us, and God only knows how much to Erik?"
"You've got a point there," Drew said, thinking for a moment. That was an awful lot of money. "Ah, but how do we know that isn't just a spit in the bucket for him?"
"I swear Drew, you would find bacteria in the milk of humanoid kindness," Van said. "Do you always have to be such a pessimist?"
"What's with all the labels, Van? Are you really mad at me, or are you just trying to increase your negative vocabulary?"
Van Gar laughed. "You're impossible."
"If I was, I wouldn't be here."
The ship rocked violently. Drew looked at Van Gar.
"The green wire goes to the detection system," they said in unison.
They jumped to their feet, spilling beer everywhere and ran for the gun cabinet, where they grabbed the two biggest, ugliest rifles they had and started at a dead run for the cargo bay.
Facto stepped out of his cabin.
"What's going on?" he asked, stepping into their way when he realized they weren't going to stop. "What is it?"
The ship lurched again, and they were all thrown into the wall."We're being boarded," Van Gar told him, regaining his footing.
"By whom?"
"By fucking Boy Scouts! Who the fuck do you think?"
Drew shoved past him.
Taralin stepped out of her cabin, and Drew saw iggys falling into a bottomless pit.
"Get her and go lock yourselves on the bridge. Don't open the door for anyone. The ship is on a set course, and with any luck you'll reach Vares 7 before they can break down the door."
"What is all this?" Taralin demanded.
"Pirates. We're being boarded," Van Gar told her. Then chased after Drew, who had already started back down the hall.
"No! Wait!" Facto started to go after them, and Taralin grabbed his arm.
"There's nothing we can do, Facto. I have faith in her ability to deal with this."
"But, my Lady . . ."
"Let's do as we were told."
Van Gar and Drew stood on either side of the door to the cargo bay.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Let's party. I'll take point."
Drew punched a button and the doors opened. Van Gar jumped through the door and opened fire. Drew came in after him, and the door clanged shut behind them as someone returned their fire. They ran for cover behind a pile
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