Nanny Piggins and the Wicked Plan Read Online Free PDF Page A

bite them on the leg. And if I’m really cross I bite them on both legs,’ said Nanny Piggins. Not that she needed to tell the children. They had seen the teeth scars on their father’s calves. (Unlike the government, she had caught him many times.)
    ‘Are you going to tap-dance for us again, Nanny Piggins?’ asked Phillip, who was serving two years for stealing his grandmother’s wheelchair and taking it for a joyride.
    ‘No, you were such good hosts last time I visited, I just popped in to see if you’d like to share morning tea at our home,’ said Nanny Piggins with her most gracious hostess smile.
    ‘What?!!!’ exploded Derrick and Samantha.
    Michael did not say anything. He was too busy rushing back up the tunnel to hide his teddy bear.
    ‘You can’t invite them over,’ said Samantha with some difficulty because she was trying to talk out theside of her mouth while still smiling at the men.
    ‘Why not?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Because they’re prisoners. They aren’t allowed to leave,’ explained Derrick.
    ‘Piffle, I’m sure no-one will mind if we bend the rules a little,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘But that’s the whole point of prison. You have to stay in no matter what,’ said Samantha.
    ‘Even if there’s a half-price chocolate sale at the supermarket?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Even then,’ confirmed Derrick
    ‘They must be very wicked men to get such harsh punishment,’ marvelled Nanny Piggins. ‘Still, it’s important to be polite. There is no greater crime than rudeness. They hosted me, so I must invite them over.’ Nanny Piggins turned and loudly addressed all the men. ‘Would you all like to come and visit us for morning tea?’
    ‘Yes, please!’ said all the prisoners.
    ‘Nanny Piggins!’ exclaimed Derrick.
    ‘They’re prisoners,’ pleaded Samantha.
    ‘You’ll promise to come back here again afterwards, won’t you?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Of course,’ said the prisoners.
    ‘But the guards will notice that they’ve gone,’ argued Samantha.
    ‘That’s okay. We’ll leave a note letting the guards know where we are,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘They can’t complain about that.’
    Derrick and Samantha suspected that the guards could indeed complain about that but there was no time to discuss it further. Nanny Piggins was already shepherding prisoners into the tunnel ahead of her and telling them to put the kettle on when they got to the house so she could make them some hot chocolate.

    It took the children a while to relax about having forty convicted felons in their home, but once they did, even they had to admit that the morning-tea party was a success. When Nanny Piggins found out that they did not have sticky buns in prison (the most severe part of their punishment), she immediately set to work. In a tornado of flour, sugar, butter and jam, she soon whipped up the most gloriously delicious sticky buns ever. The prisoners enjoyed them so much it brought tears to their eyes. Mikey, the cheque forger, swore to give up crime altogether if she would give him the recipe.
    After they had eaten, Boris performed a special ballet dance for them. He had not meant to, buthe was stung by a wasp (which is what can happen when you let jam get all over your fur). Boris did some of his most spectacular flying leaps and pirouettes. Then, after the applause had finished, Nanny Piggins re-enacted a story from her pirate book. It was a particularly good one that involved swinging on the curtains, then having a pretend sword fight up and down the mantelpiece. So naturally they all lost track of time. That was until Nanny Piggins looked at the clock and screamed, ‘Aaaaggggh!’
    ‘What’s wrong?’ asked Derrick.
    ‘It’s twelve o’clock! On the note I promised I’d have all the prisoners back by eleven forty-five,’ explained Nanny Piggins.
    ‘We’re going to be in so much trouble,’ worried Steve.
    ‘The guards don’t like it when we’re late for lunch,’ added