P.S. I Loathe You Read Online Free PDF Page B

was:
    A) Cleopatra!
    B) Friends with LBR Layne Abeley, who dressed up as Albert Einstein.
    C) Friends with LBR Rachel Walker, who dressed up as Oprah.
    D) Friends with LBR Aimee Snyder, who dressed up as Shakespeare.
    E) Friends with LBR Danh Bondok, who dressed up as Bill Gates (and who Massie called Candy Corn).
    F) All of the above.
    Massie would cover her in meat-flavored Glossip Girl and feed her to Bean.
    “We need to talk,” Layne insisted. “Not Einstein and Cleopatra. As
us.
”
    “But—”
    “Butts are for sitting!” Layne interrupted. “School has been in session for weeks, and I haven’t made any progress with
Dempsey
.” She whispered her lifelong crush’s name like he was a wanted criminal. “None. I thought the
Wizard of Claus
callbacks would be my chance for romance, but Massie was there and completely Block-blocked me!”
    “What? Why was
she
there?” Kristen’s forehead barfed sweat. Her best friend and her secret best friend were crushing on the same boy. Her two worlds were hurtling toward each other like Heidi and L.C., doomed to collide. “She wasn’t
auditioning
, was she?”
    “No, Joe, she was giving Dempsey
acting
advice,” Layne scoffed.
    “How does she know—”
    “She said she learned a lot on the set of
Dial L for Loser
. Can you believe it?”
    “Yep.” Kristen nodded as if Layne could actually see her. When Massie Block wanted something, the truth was a ball and she could bend it like Beckham (the soccer player, not the cat).
    “Wanna see?” There were a few beeps and then: “Check out the video.”
    A quaking shot of Massie and Dempsey’s backs filled the Razr’s tiny screen. They were seated in the rear of the auditorium giggling at some guy’s off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
    “Zero presence,” she could hear Massie mutter. “Zero connection with the audience.
Zee
-ro! I don’t believe he’s really wishing someone a happy birthday. I don’t believe he
cares
.”
    “Yeah, I totally see that.” Dempsey nodded.
    “You need to cuh-nect,” Massie insisted, “or you’ll never make it in this business.”
    The video ended abruptly.
    “She doesn’t like him, does she?” Layne squeaked. “Because if she does, you
have
to break them apart. You promised me. I helped you get Skye Hamilton away from Dune this summer, and you promised you’d help me get Dempsey. Remember?”
    Kristen bit her throbbing hangnail.
    “Re-mem-ber?”
    Of course she remembered. That was why she’d spent all morning trying to convince Massie that her new crush was an LBR.
    Kristen paced across her green shag rug. The fibers that usually tickled her feet seemed unusually coarse.
    “Reeeee-meeeemmmmm-berrrrrrrr?”
    She stomped her foot.
    “Yes. Yes, I remember, okay? But it’s not that easy.”
    “Neither was breaking into the country club, filling the pool with Jell-O, creating a video reflection so it looked like water, and timing it so that Skye jumped in before Dune. But I did it. And now if you’d kindly place your hand on your neck and feel the shark tooth, I think you’ll agree that the plan worked and—”
    “Okay, okay! What do you want me to do?”
    “Find out if he likes me,” Layne cooed sweetly. “And if he says no, then
make
him change his mind.”
    Kristen’s ears began to ring. It was hell calling.
    “Layne, I totally want to help, but I hardly even know the guy,” she tried. “Can’t you just have an honest conversation with Dempsey? You’ve been opposite-sex best friends for years.”
    “We
were
opposite-sex best friends.” Layne sighed. “Now that I like him, I can’t talk to him anymore. I’m too—”
    “Hold on,” Kristen interrupted. “What, Mom?” she called into her empty apartment. “I’m on the phone!” She paused like she was listening to her mother. But the only shouting woman she could actually hear was the new stressed-out neighbor next door. “
Okay
! Stop yelling. I’ll be right there.” After an extra-long