no way the turkey sandwich and apple she’d eaten for lunch would hold her until tomorrow.
“I’ll be right back.”
She grabbed my hand when I tried to stand up. “No, don’t leave. I know you’re going to go get me some food, but I’m not hungry. I just want to talk.” Her eyes pleaded with mine. “So, stay with me and just talk to me, okay?”
“You need to eat, Kyle.”
“I will in a little bit. I promise.”
She let go of my hand, and I sat down again—this time, on the bed right next to where she was lying.
“I’m worried about Billy,” she said, resting her chin on her palm. “He’s using more and more.”
I knew she had noticed. It was impossible not to. But, shit, I didn’t want Kyle to worry about him, too. Billy was my responsibility, and somehow, I’d get him straight.
“He’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?” She scratched her cheek and down her arm and rubbed around her elbow.
I knew she didn’t itch. Kyle was just fidgeting. She did that sometimes when we were alone together and sitting real close.
“Because I’m not sure he’s going to be okay,” she continued. “He doesn’t just use on the weekends when we’re having fun. He uses before school and right after last period. He’s always high now. And I’ve seen what happens when people use that much. We’re surrounded by it.”
She was talking about the people in The Heart. Her ma. Mine. They’d probably use a hell of a lot more if they could afford it. But she was right about what Billy’s using would eventually lead to, and the sadness in her eyes fucking killed me.
It killed me even more because it was my fault.
“I’ll talk to him, Kyle.”
I had to fix it. I’d already tried. But I’d try again and again until I got our friend back to the way he used to be.
“Okay.”
I could tell there was something else on her mind. She was acting too timid, too restless, for there not to be.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about.” When she didn’t answer, I put my hand over hers to stop it from moving. “Kyle?”
She looked so pretty as she glanced at me. She didn’t have any makeup on. Her hair was a little tangled and messy, and her eyes were puffy from rubbing them when she’d woken up.
“I don’t want to go home.”
She said that to me every time she came to my place. I never once made her leave. But this time felt different; it felt like there was something she wasn’t saying.
I pulled the blanket higher until it wedged under her chin.
When I tried to stand again, she stopped me. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not leaving. I’m just going to sit on the floor.”
She shook her head, her fingers squeezing mine. “No. Don’t.”
My dick hardened from the sound of those sweet words. It rubbed against my boxers, painfully pushing against the inside of my zipper.
“Where do you want me?”
Her skin was so soft, so perfect in the light that shone in from the streetlamp. I wanted to rub my face against her cheek, to kiss it.
“Here.” She patted the small space that was between us.
I kicked off my shoes and swung my legs onto the bed.
“No.” She was fidgeting again—this time, combing out the side of her hair. “I want you under the covers.”
She’d never asked me to do that before, never looked at me the way she was staring at me now. If I lay down as close as she wanted me, she’d feel how hard I was. I didn’t want that to scare the hell out of her. I had to know what she wanted before I got under the covers.
“Come here,” I said, reaching for her hand, pulling her until she sat up.
She didn’t fight me. She didn’t question what I was doing. And, when my fingers cupped her cheek, she didn’t pull away. My thumb traced the corner of her lips. After a few passes, she leaned into me, nuzzling my hand.
“I want to kiss you.” I wouldn’t have warned anyone else, and I never had in the past. But Kyle was my best friend. That made this different. And it made me more