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choice.
    “You’re not going to see him again?”
    “No … I can’t. I just … I don’t agree with what he wants to do, and I can’t support him through what will happen when he does do it.”
    Erin reached out and took my hand. “Maybe you need to tell him that.” Her soft brown eyes locked on me. “Maybe he needs someone there to tell him not to do this, so he can live a good life—with you.”
    “He wouldn’t be happy with that. Trust me, I know the type.”
    “Are you sure about that?” I stared at her. Of course, I was sure. “He asked you to come back, didn’t he?”
    “Yes but—”
    “You said yesterday you got him to open up to you, and that it was the first time he had opened up to anyone in years.”
    “Yes but—”
    “Well, maybe you’re special. Maybe you are special enough to make him reconsider whatever stupid thing he is about to do.”
    I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Was I? It was stupid to hope that I was but … I couldn’t help hoping with all my heart that Erin was right.
 
    ***
 
    I let out a loud sigh as someone opened my door. It wasn’t her.
    How could I honestly think she would come back? She told me she would. I tried to justify it to myself, but it just made me feel stupider.
    “Hey, man.” Jacob sat down next to me. He didn’t mention the fact that my cheeks were wet, and my eyes were red. I wouldn’t have cared if he did. I hadn’t cried in 11 years. I didn’t cry all those nights I dreamt about her, I didn’t cry when we got sent to jail; I didn’t even cry when we got out of jail. Now, now it seemed like I was going to make up for that.
    “Dom said there was a girl here, did she do this to you?”
    I shot him a glance. My mouth opened, but I was speechless. I reached for the bottle, but Jacob snatched it from my hand and placed it out of reach.
    “What do you want?” I snapped.
    “Dom wanted me to check in on you. He said you seemed off this afternoon.”
    “Really?”
    “He sounded worried, and I gotta admit I’m pretty worried about you too now that I’ve seen you.”
    “I’m fine,” I said dismissively.
    “You don’t seem it.”
    I turned away from Jacob. He wouldn’t understand. He’d done well for himself since he’d got out of jail. He’d started working for himself; he had a dog, a house—a nice house at that—and anything else any guy could want. At least one who didn’t get close to anyone.
    I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to the dog when we were done with everything here. Jacob loved his dog.
    “I’m just … out of my comfort zone,” I admitted. “I actually care about her.”
    “The girl that was here when Dom stopped by?”
    “Yea. Sam. She’s … great.”
    “And?”
    “And what?”
    “Well, what’s the issue then?”
    “The issue,” I snapped. “Is that I’m going to be dead in a couple weeks. Why would I do that to her? I’ve already hurt her enough … She … she doesn’t think I’ll ever love her as much as I love Becky, and my stupid ass didn’t tell her she was wrong. How can I hurt her any more than not telling her she was wrong? How could she even consider seeing me again?” I should have known it was a lie when she said it. I tried to reach for my bottle again, but Jacob held it out of my reach.
    “By not going after her? Choosing to sit here and drink instead of trying to show her that you care about her. You might only have a couple weeks left, but you damn well better make them worth it.”
    My jaw almost dropped. He was right. Jacob always was the smart one when it came to this kind of stuff.
    I only had a couple week left—a month at the most. I should be out there living to the fullest, showing her how much I did care about her and doing everything I could to make our time together better.
    After all, what was there to lose?

Chapter Six
     
    I dragged myself out of bed after the second time they knocked. Why wouldn’t they just leave me alone? I let out a huff