Phantom (Endlessly Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page A

The age-old question formed in my mind: Is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all?
    “You know, this isn’t encouraging for me,” I said.
    I struggled with the desire to embrace her. I wanted to hold her and take away the pain, but there was nothing I could do. She took a deep breath and looked at me. I gazed at her thin fingers and could still feel that she was pissed.
    I won’t touch you, she told me.
    I rolled off of her and sat in the mud. She struggled to sit up, but the backpack weighed her down. She wiped her face on her mud-caked sleeve.
    “I came looking for you because you’re the one person that would know for sure.” I kept my wall up. “I wondered if it might upset you, but I guess that’s already fucking done.” I clenched my jaw. “It doesn’t matter what you see though. I’ve made up my mind what I’m doing, regardless.”
    She looked at me confused. “Would you just tell me already?”
    “If I let you in, do you promise you won’t get upset and run off? And… that you will come home.”
    “I’m not making any promises.”
    I was suddenly plunged into a world of regret.
     
    I fidgeted with the gun that I physically couldn’t let go of. Behind the bars Fabi sat somberly as Verloren held Ash’s head against his chest. He ran his hands through Ashley’s hair as she cried. I could see the ugly scars on her back where the demon had amputated her wings.
    Verloren gave me the sternest look, but his eyes were hollow. “You’ll take care of her for me, Jason,” he breathed.
    “Yes.” My voice broke.
    Ashley wailed, “No! You won’t leave me!”
    “It will be okay,” He tried to soothe her. “Shhh. Over time you’ll forget.”
     
    I’d promised Verloren I would take care of her. Now she was almost dead. It was a low blow and she knew it, but she didn’t care. She felt the pain of the memory with me.
    “You really know how to bust a guy’s balls,” I told her. “You know you’re coming home with me, right? I don’t care if I have to drag your ass all the way home kicking and screaming.”
    She huffed at me and crossed her arms.
    “Don’t test me,” I said. “I’ll fucking do it and you know it.”
    “Fine,” she said, aggravated. “What do you want me to see?”
    “Just don’t run off , okay?” I said.
    She hesitated and pursed her lips. “I won’t run off. Even if I did you would just chase me down and aggravate me to death. Which I’m sure is the more agonizing and painful way to die.”
    I smirked. “You know me too well.”
    I opened my mind reluctantly and pushed the fresh memories forward. Her face fell and her eyes searched mine franticly. A tear rolled down her face. Her breath caught and she lunged at me and wrapped her boney arms around me.
    “Oh my god, Jason! You found her!” Ash cried out.

     
     
     
    4 TORTURED SOUL
     
    I pushed her away and blocked her from my mind. She didn’t need to see anything else. I stood up and dug in my pocket for another cigarette, lit it, and ran my fingers through my damp hair.
    I paced for a moment, turned around, and stared at her. She looked wild, her hair matted with mud and moss. Her eyes were huge. A smile faded from her lips as she searched my mind.
    “Why are yo u here? You have to go find her.” She looked up at me from the mud.
    “No… I don’t.”
    “What? What do you mean? You have to find her.” She looked confused.
    “Why?” I asked, blowing smoke into the night.
    “Because this is what you wanted, this is what you’ve been waiting for!”
    “I thought it was, b ut I don’t anymore. Believe me… it will be better for her, and me, if we never meet again.” Still there was the tug.
    “What? Are you insane?” she shouted.
    She stood up, staggered, then her body went limp. I dropped my cigarette and caught her before she hit the ground.
    “Shit!” I said.
    I pulled her backpack off and laid her on the ground on her back.
    “I just… feel… lightheaded,” she