Perfect Blend: A Novel Read Online Free PDF Page A

reruns. There was so little to go on. It was impossible to know this person. What sort of mother didn’t know her child’s father? There were times when what she was planning seemed like the height of irresponsibility. Maybe she was being selfish, putting her need to be a mother over her child’s right to have a father—or at the very least to know his identity. What emotional problems was she storing up for him or her? She’d often heard it argued that people didn’t have the God-given right to a child. Maybe they didn’t.
    Whatever the rights or wrongs, her mind was made up. She was being driven by her body, her biology, her hormones. She needed to parent a child.
    Her mum and dad supported her decision but fretted about how she was going to manage as a single parent.
    On the day of the insemination, Bel came to the clinic with her. The whole thing was over in a few minutes. Bel suggested to the male doctor that the least he could do was offer Amy a cigarette. He rolled his eyes—but not without humor. He’d clearly heard it a thousand times before. As Amy lay on the bed with her legs raised “to help the sperm along,” the first twinge of excitement hit her. “Omigod, Bel. Do you realize that I might have just made a baby?”
    She had. Forty-two weeks later, Charles Alfred Walker came into the world, sucking the middle fingers on his left hand. By the time he was three, he was asking Amy why he didn’t have a father.
    When Amy explained about the mummy’s “baby-making egg” getting mixed with the daddy’s “baby-making seed” he was clearly confused.
    “But I don’t have a daddy.”
    “I know, poppet. That’s because the daddy is usually the mummy’s husband. I don’t have a husband. Instead, a very good and kind man gave me his baby-making seeds and they helped to make you.”
    “So I do have a daddy.”
    “Yes, but not one who is part of our family.”
    “Why didn’t he want to be part of our family? Were you nasty to him?”
    “Oh, no, darling. I wasn’t nasty, and nor was he. Like I said, the man who helped make you was a very kind man. He gave away his seed to help me become a mummy, but he has his own family.”
    “Will he ever come and visit?”
    “No, darling. He won’t.”
    “But I want to show him my drawings. He wouldn’t have to stay. He could go home again. I wouldn’t mind.”
    Hearing him say this always reduced her to tears. Then she would kneel down and hug him. “I know you wouldn’t, sweetie, but seed-giver daddies don’t visit. That’s just the way it is.”
    During those conversations Charlie became thoughtful and sad, but only for a few minutes. Being six, he was easily distracted. Amy knew this wouldn’t last. The day would come when he would turn on her and blame her for not providing him with a proper father.
    BACK IN the café, Brian was kissing Amy’s forehead. “Okay, here’s an idea. How’s about we make one of those pacts where we agree to marry if we’re still single at forty? I mean, you’re a beautiful woman. I could do a lot worse.”
    She gave his arm a playful slap. “Idiot. You’d run a mile if I said yes, and you only suggested it because you know full well I never would.”
    He turned down the corners of his mouth and pretended to be hurt. Then he grabbed a pain au chocolat off the tray and bit off a massive chunk.
    Although Amy had worked at Café Mozart only since Charlie had started school, she’d known Brian since university. They’d both majored in English at Sussex and had shared a grotty student house with three others in Brighton just off Lewes Road. One night during the first term, finding themselves alone in the house, they’d gotten drunk and ended up naked on the sofa. Despite being young, good-looking, and horny as hell, their activities fell short of penetration. It wasn’t simply that Brian had been too pissed to rise to the occasion. Deep down, they both knew that although they clicked personalitywise, there was no