Past Lives Read Online Free PDF Page A

sympathy. I moaned into the pillow, my head pounding. I would never leave the room again. After a few minutes, Jacqueline sighed.
    “You know if you hide from them, they’ll just believe the marquis, right? You are above his rank in every possible way. You must put yourself together and stand your ground,” she said quietly. I tilted my body so that I could look up at her. Staring down at her hands, she made no move to return my gaze. I found my voice.
    “That’s what you do, isn’t it? Every day you are berated and teased, and you just take it,” I said, the wonder seeping its way from my heart and into my feeble mind. This girl that I had already insulted, already cast judgment upon, sat inside herself every day just hoping that someday her perseverance would pay off and she would be accepted by the court. Looking at her from this angle, she had three chins, and dots of sweat prickled her upper lip. In a shallow world, she would hold no place beyond that of court jester.
    I sighed, suddenly deeply depressed for us both, but knowing that she was absolutely right. Without coming out in complete confidence, no one would believe me to be the perfectly virginal aristocrat that I was. And let’s not forget how much better I was than everyone else, thanks to my money. Slowly, very slowly, I placed my hands palm down beneath me and rose to a sitting position on my bed, scooting over to sit next to Jacqueline. Still unable to look me in the eye, she asked, “Did my brother really save you last night, J?”
    I couldn’t help myself. I reached over and grasped her hands, squeezing my friendship into them. Finally, she looked up, her expression unreadable.
    “Yes,” I said. “He was excellent. And I was horrible. Seems to be a theme with us,” I finished lamely, an attempt to lighten a horrible situation. She smirked.
    “He likes you, you know. I’ve never seen him stop in his tracks like that for anyone, and he stared at you the whole night while you were dancing. That’s probably how he knew the marquis was on your trail.”
    I squashed down the guilt I felt at her words…especially because it mingled with a much stronger emotion that I was uncomfortable with. Instead of responding, I straightened out my nightgown and began to rise, my maid taking the cue that it was time to prep me for afternoon tea.
    “Where will we be facing the day then?” I asked, slipping into my usual routine of being waited on hand and foot, every demand answered without question. Jacqueline rose as well, taking the hint and preparing her departure…though suspicion had snuck its way into her eyes. I ignored it.
    “Out by the fountains, they’ve set up some tents and tables. I believe the queen herself might even stop in,” she finished excitedly. I squared my shoulders, preparing for the worst.
    “Well then, if you’ll excuse me. I have some prep work to do.”
    ***
    A while later, dressed in my most flattering afternoon gown—a lighter piece of delicate white with pink roses sewn into the sleeves and hem—I held my shoulders back and my head high as I made my way to the fountains at the back of Versailles. As I stepped from a gold plated doorway, a servant immediately arrived by my side with my matching parasol and raised it above my head. I had taken great care to powder my face a little heavier so that the bruise from the night before would not reveal itself. I walked two paces more slowly, the better to prevent sweat from giving me away through exertion.
    Blinking in the sunlight, I stared out at a vast blue sky, which draped itself lovingly over the glittering fountains and perfectly manicured world of the palace. My shoes tread lightly on the sandy gravel, the rushing vertical waves of a circular fountain spraying me with just the smallest hint of mist. I tilted my head away from it, frightened that my makeup would smear in the droplets of spray. The main fountain itself was quite glorious—rotund, with statues of fowl and