Older and Wilder: A Steamy Gay MM Romance Read Online Free PDF Page A

furnace, and the flash of fireflies, usually so comforting, was jarring, as if a thousand little bugs were spelling out his mistakes in Morse code.
     
                  Once he had a moment to alone to think, his mother’s suggestion that Derek stay in his room made sense.  It was the same as making him smoke the whole pack of cigarettes when the principal had called and let them know he 'd been caught taking a few puffs with some older kids in the parking lot.  They’d force their foolish child to see what he was building up to and he’d get so sick of it, so sick of Derek, that he’d never want to see him again. 
     
                  Maybe they thought Derek’d be the one who’d be done by the end of the week.  Somehow that was worse.  Well, screw them both.  He could put on a show for a few days and then he’d start really working on a plan to get out of here.  Even just moving into town instead of out here on the ranch would be a step in the right direction.  Would it really be any worse to be bagging groceries during the day instead of pulling weeds and grooming horses?  At least he’d be around people.  Some of them had been decent to him back before he'd left for college.
     
                  Jesse began working his way around the house, passing out of light spill from the back porch and into the darkness of the side yard.  He couldn’t let Derek crack and admit that none of it was real.  It had been his idea, but his father could be relentless when he went to work.  If Derek needed backup to hold his ground then Jesse wanted to be ready.  He stood in the shadows around the corner and listened as the older men talked.
     
                  The whiskey seemed to have melted his father’s anger into confusion.  His oldest friend and his younger son just wasn’t a pairing Mike had ever considered.
     
                  “What the hell are you doing, Derek? Jesse? Is he your midlife crisis?”
                 
                  “You want to talk midlife crisis let’s talk about your third child.  I figured the next baby in this house would be a grandchild.”
     
                  For a few moments the only sound Jesse  heard was the chirp of crickets and the soft clink of ice against glass as the men sipped their whiskey.
     
                  “Why Jesse?”
     
                  “He’s the brave.  I admire that.  Knows who he is and what hat he wants, too.”
     
                  “Jesse?”
     
                  Derek’s tone was measured when he spoke.  “He went to art school in New York.  Most people around here think San Antonio is the big city, but he knew there's nothing for him here, so he took the leap.”
     
                  “He made it a year and came home.”
     
                  “He was strong enough to know it wasn’t right for him and do something about it.  How many people do we know who are still in the bad jobs or bad marriages they jumped into after high school because they’re too afraid to change?  Jesse gets an idea and he rides it out.  If it works then it works; he’s got a he lf full of County Fair ribbons to show for it.  If it flops then he  fixes it or moves on.”
     
                  “He’s like you.”
     
                  “Is that so bad?”
     
                  “And when Jesse stops working for you?”
     
                  “Then you’ll shoot me in the face,” Derek said dryly.  The splash of liquor pouring from the bottle to their glasses filled the pause in the conversation. “He’ll be done with me long before I’m done with him.” 
     
                  “I still ought to shoot you, now.”
     
                  “He’d only like me more.”
     
                  Jesse’s breath raced as he