o bff12aa477590112 Read Online Free PDF

6/7
    Science
    Soooooooo tired.
    Just read over the last 2 entries. They give me a queasy feeling.
    But I can’t think about it now. Have to learn about the Krebs cycle.
    Nbook, I wish there were no such thing as the Krebs cycle. It looks like this:
    Lunch
    Sorry, Nbook. Ms. DePhillipis caught me. She says, “Oh, have you discovered some hidden depths to the Krebs cycle?”
    I say, “No comprendo Eenglees.”
    (Just kidding about that last part.)
    Study hall
    What is with Brendan?
    He’s in homeroom. He looks at me. Nods. But he splits at the sound of the bell.
    OK, fine, I figure he has something important to do.

    Which is too bad. After class, Cece wants to know what happened on the date. As I’m telling her, I feel I could use some moral support.
    Then, at lunch, I see Brendan sitting at another table, clear across the room. I look at him. He looks back. Then his eyes dart away.
    I don’t get it.
    OK, Vargas, calm down. It’s the last week of school. Maybe Brendan just wants to be with his friends before heading off to East Neptune for the summer.
    Or maybe he has realized for the first time that I’m Latina.
    Maybe they don’t have Mexicans where he grew up in New Jersey.
    8:31 P.M.
    Remind me not to talk, Nbook. Remind me I shouldn’t open my big mouth to anyone until finals are over.
    I can’t believe myself after school today.

    I know. I’m a jerk.
    I’ll call her.

    9:27 P.M.
    When I call, Zeke picks up the phone. He says, “Let me see if she wants to speak to you.”
    Not a good sign.
    Maggie doesn’t pick up for a long time. When she finally does, her voice is like this: I tell her I’m sorry. I explain that I’m really behind in studying, that I’m still kind of shook up about Friday night, yada yada yada.
    When I finish, she sys, “I’m really not trying to be part of your family.”
    “I know you’re not,” I reply.
    “You can come over to my house if you want. We don’t always have to go to yours.”
    “Thanks.”
    “How about tomorrow?”
    “I have to go shopping with Isabel.”
    Long, long silence. “OK, fine. ‘Bye.”
    Now I feel worse. Like I just blew the whole friendship. Like, if I hang up now, it’s adiós amiga.
    I need all the friends I can get, Nbook.
    So I quickly say, “No, wait. I’ll come over Wednesday. You can coach me on the math.”
    “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Maggie replies.
    “It’s OK. I want to.”
    “Uh-huh. See you then.”

    * * *
She hates me.
    Tuesday, 6/8
    Homeroom
    Leavitt’s in a bad mood. We’re supposed to be studying. Don’t want him to catch me. Will make this fast.
    Bad dreams last night. Again. Woke up at 3 A.M. and couldn’t go back to sleep. The scene outside the theater again — only the girls have changed. They’re Maggie and Sunny and Dawn and Cece and marina [sic].
    I try to run away, but I’m pushed back from the other side — by my dear sister, Isabel. She’s telling me I shouldn’t dare run away. I should face up to them.
    I’m up shaking until breakfast.
    When I finally stagger downstairs for breakfast, Isabel
    English
    Sorry about that.
    Leavitt trouble.
    I’m innocently writing and Mr. Leavitt turns around and says, “Writing fan mail to Short Hills?”
    He calls Brendan “Short Hills” because that’s his hometown (and because that’s the kind of guy Mr. Leavitt is).
    Ignore him. Back to Isabel. This morning.
    Number 1. She knows I have insomnia.
    Number 2. She knows I’ve been having nightmares.
    Number 3. She can tell by my face that it’s been a hard night.
    So what does she do? (a) Offer to make me breakfast and give me a shoulder rub? (b) Sit me down and say with a smile, “Do you want to talk about it?” or (c) Shake her head and say, “Just remember, they’re laughing right now. They’re waking up all fresh and happy, and they’re saying, ‘What other Latina can we spit on today?’ You can still call the police, you know. It’ll make you feel better.”

    (c), of