Nuklear Age Read Online Free PDF Page B

groaned from the sudden punishment, as if saying “Eroding to the ages is bad enough without having idiots like you crashing through my load bearing walls.” Dust and plaster fell from the ceiling.
    “Owf! I bit by dongue,” the Hero of heroes said as he rose from the smoking heap of ex-computer.
    Atomik Lad rolled his eyes, “Typical.”
    Nuklear Man scanned the decrepit grounds, “Badomik Fab!” he said holding his tongue, “Ey... ow’d jew get heel fust?”
    The sidekick grumbled to himself, “Let go of your tongue when you talk!”
    He complied, “Ah yes, much better. What’cha doin’?”
    “I'm being held captive! Now release me so we can thrash Menace!”
    “Got it.”
    “Not so fast, Nuklear Boob!” Dr. Menace's voice rang from behind several large pieces of equipment that used to be her impressive computer. She stood, hair and dusty lab coat flowing in whatever wind causes things like that to flow in moments like these. “Make one false move, and you can take your precious sidekick home in a tin can!” She held a complex remote control above her head.
    “Gasp!” gasped Nuklear Man.
    She flashed Nuklear Man a smile of evil triumph. “Now that I have your attention,” she began. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite right. Nuklear Man was immediately transfixed by the blinking red light atop the antenna of Menace’s remote control.
    “Shiny,” he said in a daze.
    Atomik Lad hung his head.
    Menace's gloating glare faded as she realized the target of Nuklear Man's attention. “Ahem...” she asserted, but to no avail.
    “Red,” he grinned in satisfaction.
    She growled in annoyance and shook the control violently, rending it from Nuklear Man's eyes. He frowned.
    “Now then,” she continued, “With but a turn of this dial, I could crush your lovely sidekick!”
    “Gasp again!” he gasped again.
    “Quite. However, he iz not what I want—”
    “Oh good! You'll be releasing him then, glad to hear it. You're certainly a much nicer villain than you used to be.”
    “Shut up!” She stomped her foot. The scene wasn’t quite unfolding as she had hoped. “As I was saying, what I truly desire iz to defeat the mighty Nuklear Man in his most expert arena.”
    Oh good, BLASTIN'! the Golden Guardian thought to himself.
    “The mind,” She said.
    “Argh!” he arghed. “Lousy brain,” he muttered as Sad Plazma momentarily flared around him.
    “I shall present you with a riddle.”
    “Like a joke? I love jokes. I heard this one about a six inch pianist—ooh, but I couldn't say that one in front of Sparky,” he jabbed a thumb Atomik Lad’s way.
    “Nuke! I told you that one”
    “Don't contradict me in front of the villain,” Nuklear Man said through a clench toothed smile. “But there was this other one. Something about a canary. Or was it a woman at a bar with a uh…oh, what was it?”
    Atomik Lad sighed, “A six inch pianist,” he said.
    “That's the one! It's a killer.”
    “Excuse me, gentlemen? Evil genius here. A life hanging in the balanze. Any of this ring a bell?”
    And lo a great bell did ring forth, and the people feasted upon the many fish of the sea, the beasts of the earth and the foul of the sky, “Oh yeah,” Nuklear Man adopted an overly dramatic pose and made sure the light caught the sparkling brilliance of his teeth just right, “Continue your tirade of evil, you...um...evil lady.”
    “Yes.” She caught herself almost believing in their charade. “I shall present you vith a non -joke-like riddle. If you can determine the anzwer, not only will your sidekick be released, but I shall give myself up az well.”
    “And if I don't?” inquired the eternally confident Hero.
    “I will ztill release Atomik Lad.”
    “That's good!” Nuklear Man smiled.
    “Only to replace him with you.”
    “That's bad,” Nuklear Man frowned. “But I’m the good guy, so I’ll win anyway. “Give me your riddle, oh Queen of Corruption!”
    She smiled confidently, cleared her