Nothing But Blue Read Online Free PDF Page A

something is following me. I instinctively keep in the shadows and walk on the edge of the tree line. I’m still not sure where I am going or why I am here, but I am compelled to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. I’ve never been in shape or cared much about exercise. I imagine I look something like a waddling penguin in bright red sneakers.
    My legs feel like old, hard rubber.
Stop, stop, stop!
they scream.
Let us rest.
But I am afraid to stop because if I do, I may never get up again. I tell my legs to shut up and just keep walking, but they don’t obey. Instead they take me to a shady spot nearby, and I sit. First my right thigh begins to tingle, then my left, then the sensation jumps to my right knee, and finally migrates around my entire body. It’s like my legs are still walking on the inside even though I am motionless on the outside. I knead my calves with my fists, telling my body to calm down. It helps a little. I have one apple left. I eat it.
    Every time a car passes, my body tenses. Since the guy in the truck, which was so long ago already, no one has stopped, and I count on the fact that most people don’t care about anyone other than themselves. It’s an easy world to slip through unnoticed. I’ve done it all my life already, except maybe once when I felt like I mattered to someone. My mind goes to Jake. Is he waiting for me? Expecting me? I rub my bracelet and get up again.
    I walk until it’s dark and I come to a sleepy town that is already shut down for the night. I am on a good old-fashioned Main Street. I can see the marquee of an old movie theater at the end of the block. Some letters are missing, so it reads MA N STR ET THEATRE .
    I scan the street for a bearable place to lie down. I don’t relish another night in a box or on a bench. I pass several antique stores, a hobby shop, an old-time pharmacy, a barber with a real red and white pole, and an Italian bakery. There are back-to-school posters in the windows. On the lawn of the library is a pumpkin patch and a scarecrow. Signs on the shops all say SHOP DOWNTOWN or SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESS . There is something a bit surreal about this place, as though it’s a town that time forgot.
    With some luck this town is so old-fashioned that no one bothers to lock anything, but there is no such luck—all the doors I try are bolted. I reach the Ma n Str et Theatre. It looks like they used to actually have live theater here—there are some old, torn posters of
The King and I,
Guys and Dolls,
and
The Pajama Game.
But it’s all boarded up now. I rattle the chains on the door. Nothing budges. I walk around the side looking for an open window or crawlspace. Nothing. All the windows are nailed shut with wooden boards.
    I sigh. I guess it’s outdoors once again. I don’t know how much more of this I can stand, but then I don’t know what other choice I have. I push through some bushes to see if I can find a soft spot of dirt.
    There is a rustling in front of me. There is something already in these bushes. I step back. As the shape emerges I see that it is a dog. I shine my flashlight and its eyes are all glittery and glowing. It is
the
dog.
    â€œYou,” I say. “Why are you following me?”
    The dog whimpers and raises his snout. I follow his gaze with the flashlight. On the second floor right above the fire escape is a window that is not boarded up. Part of the glass is smashed.
    I look down at the dog. “How did you know?” I ask.
    He just sits patiently staring at me with those spooky eyes and giant ears. In spite of myself, I smile. I am starting to think maybe this is not your ordinary mangy mutt.
    â€œYou really don’t have any better place to go?” I ask.
    He gets up and shakes his body, then nods his nose at the fire escape nearby, as if to encourage me to climb it.
    â€œAll right, I see it.”
    I have to stretch my arms to reach the first rung. Bits