Not Damaged Read Online Free PDF Page B

“How do you know?”
    “I know you. You’re a lot easier to read than you realize.”
He shrugged. “You’re not a hard person to understand.” Another forkful of food
was pressed into her mouth.
    “They rarely let me talk about my life after what happened.”
She ate some more food, watching him as he took some for his own.
    “You talked to someone about what happened?”
    “Yes. I’ve been talking to the same woman for the past ten
years.”
    “Tell me how you feel. Don’t hold anything back.”
    “You’re a stranger. I can’t talk to a stranger about this.”
She sat up, crossing her legs in front of her.
    Ryan placed his jacket over her legs. “I’m not having any
other man looking at your pussy. You were showing everything that’s mine.”
    Heat filled her cheeks at the intensity of his stare.
    “Thank you.”
    “The psychiatrist you spoke to started out life as a
stranger. Why not talk to me? I’m not going to hurt you or make you tell me
something you don’t know.” He passed her a made up plate, which she took from
him.
    Watching him eat she found herself relaxing in his company.
“Once I start talking about what happened people have a tendency to disappear.”
    “I’m not walking away, and I’m not asking you to relive what
happened. Just talk about your own feelings about what you want.” He ate in
between talking.
    Silence fell as she stared across the pond. Unlike her
family, Ryan wasn’t pressuring her or demanding that she seek help. He wasn’t
even trying to make her see someone to help her deal.
    Licking her dry lips, she thought back to that time.
    “I was taken for two days,” she said. “He tied me to a chair
to start off with.” They sat in the open air with people walking around them
but not too close they could hear her speaking. “He talked constantly about the
future. At first I was terrified, actually I was scared throughout it all. I
didn’t know who he was, and I wanted to go home. He fed me and at night he, erm , he forced himself on me but it wasn’t painful beside
the loss of my virginity.”
    Ryan touched her hand, offering her strength.
    “Anyway, afterward I found out he’d done it to other girls
in three different states. They finally found him and it ended in a shootout
where he died.” Eating some of her food, Jesse talked about what happened
without feeling sick or hurting. She only wanted to get passed everything and
to move onto something more.
    No man ever stuck around after she told them the truth.
Jesse told Ryan everything, how the man had made love to her rather than
physically hurt her.
    “I had nightmares a couple of weeks after but once I talked
with my psychiatrist I stopped. I’ve always been able to deal with everything
that’s happened to me logically. It hurt and I hate the fact I suffered it but
I don’t want my whole life to be about what happened over ten years ago. I’m
stronger than that.” She pressed a hand to her heart really feeling the words
she spoke down to her soul.
    “What does your family think?”
    “They think I’m fragile and I’ll break at the first hurdle.
I’m not damaged or broken. You know, today was the first time I talked about my
job.” She laughed, the noise sounded forced even to her. “What’s worse is I
know my family love me and they wouldn’t dream of letting me think like that.”
    “You’re family love you, Jesse. I’ve got no doubt of that
even Jake loves you like a friend but they’re afraid. They don’t know how to
move on.” He released her hand to finish eating.
    “What do you suggest I do?” she asked.
    “I don’t know, Jesse. They’re your family.”
    “I’m seeing them tomorrow. I don’t know if I can handle
being with them now.” Tears filled her eyes at the unfairness of it all.
    “We’ll get through this together, Jesse. You’ll visit your
family tomorrow like normal.”
    Staring at her lap, her nerves started to get the better of
her. “Will you want to see