patted his arm. âRound three. Weâve got this.â Or so she hoped. She crossed her fingers.
The producer cut to commercial, allowing those onstage to talk among themselves. Carl joined them. âWeâre tied.â
âNot for long,â said Harold.
âThink youâre going to win?â came from Kong.
âKnow it.â
âDonât count your chickens before they hatch.â
Mary laughed at her boyfriendâs joke.
Alyn rolled her eyes. She didnât find him funny.
Neither did Harold. He made a rude noise.
Carl backed up a step.
The curtain soon swayed, separated, revealing the Strength-O-Meter. Alex Xander crossed to the tall vertical tower. âWhich of you two is the Strongman?â he goaded the contestants as they stepped up and flexed their muscles. âYouâll smash a red weight with a ten-pound rubber mallet to send a puck flying up the track. There are names and numerical values along the groove. Sissy Boy gets ten points. Ring the top bell, and Hercules receives one hundred. Youâll each take a turn. Weâll combine your couple score to determine the winner.â
The host gave the participants a moment to let his words sink in before adding, âYouâre competing for more than a kewpie doll or Chinese finger trap. Winners, weâve put together the best prizes of the season. Losers, itâs a long walk back to your seats.â
Natalie brought out the mallet. She presented it to Alex. âLadies first,â he said.
The sock monkey pushed by Alyn. âIâll go.â
Alex handed her the mallet. âGo big or go home!â
Mary stood before the tower, and her hands visibly shook as she settled the long-handled hammer over her shoulder. She huffed and puffed. Shifted her weight from foot to foot. Nervous.
Harold nudged Alyn, and in a low voice said, âThe most important factor is strike accuracy. Swing as you would to split wood.â
âIâve never split wood.â
âShit,â he mumbled before counseling, âHold the handle as near to the end as possible with both hands. Draw the mallet head directly over your own head, then swing down. You have to hit the pad directly in the center if you want to ring that bell. Got it?â
More or less. She hoped to make a better showing than the sock monkey. Mary lost her balance with her downward strike. The puck barely rose two feet.
âWeakling, twenty points,â Alex shouted to the audience.
There were low moans of sympathy and pity.
The host motioned to Alyn. âNext.â
Her heart was beating so fast she was sure it would burst through her chicken chest. She shuffled forward. Mary passed her the mallet with more force than sheâd shown in her swing. Alyn staggered backwards. Alex was there to keep her upright.
The crowd got behind her. They chanted, âChick, chick, chick.â
The mallet was heavy, but nothing she couldnât handle. However seeing the launch pad proved a problem. Her eye slits tapered, and her rounded feathered stomach got in the way. She bobbed her head several times, gathering momentum, before she let the hammer fall. With all the power she could muster.
The puck rose to thirty points. Wimp. Still, she was ten points ahead of Mary. She prayed Harold would do well.
Alex took the hammer from Alyn and handed it to King Kong. âManly pride is on the line. Ring that bell!â
Kong put his back into it. He growled, grunted, and slammed the mallet down. He earned ninety points. Powerhouse.
Expectancy surged when Harold took his turn. He side-mouthed Alyn, saying, âKicking King Kong ass.â
Taking his position, he crowed with barnyard fierceness. The audience crowed back. He stretched his arms over his head, and the seams along his shoulders split, baring thick muscles across his upper back. The smash of the mallet took down his zipper. All the way to his butt crack.
Instead of kicking ape ass,
Fletcher Pratt, L. Sprague deCamp
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