few days there would be an excited young Frenchman round at my apartment wanting to do the blood-letting trick for me. Or perhaps Delaisse would be a blasé intellectual whoâd want to talk the whole thing out on the existentialist plane.
While I waited for her I thought this was the first time Iâd taken a girl out for nearly three years. The last one had been Rachel on that London leave. (Rachel married now and with a son.) One or two of Claire Wintertonâs younger guests had made on-coming remarks, but Iâd had a complex about the whole business. In this new mood it seemed objectless to have been so stuffy. Perhaps this was one way of getting back on life.
I stood and waited on the corner of the Place Masséna and listened to the rickety old trams thumping past. Under the portico a woman was shouting in a monotonous metallic voice: â Samedi Soir. Paris-Presse. Samedi Soir. Paris-Presse.â She might have been calling the faithful to prayer. There had been only a light breeze to-day, and this had dropped with evening. A bite in the air now the sun was gone.
I heard her come up before she spoke, in fact I knew she stood a few moments looking at me, but I didnât let on.
âGood evening, M. Gordon.â
âMme. Delaisse.â
We shook hands formally in the French way and then we got a taxi and drove to a place I knew on the front.
âThis is very expensive,â she said as we went in. âCanât we go somewhere cheaper?â
âOne of the drawbacks about going out with a man like me is that thereâs nothing much to do in an evening except talk and eat This is a good place to do both.â
âThere are cheaper places to do both. Less smart. Iâshall feel a little out of my depth.â
âI donât think I quite believe that.â
She looked up quickly in surprise.
âWhat do you mean?â
âOh ⦠just thatâ
âJust what?â
âI canât put it more plainly because I donât know myself. Iâve an instinct that you wonât really feelâout of your depth. Or should have no need to.â
She didnât say any more until we were seated. When we came to order the wine I left it to her and after hesitation she chose a good vintage.
I said gently: â My guess is that you come of a good family and that the war has made all the difference. Right?â
She said: âWhat is a good family? My father was good. My grandfather was good. Is that what you mean?â
âAll right,â I agreed. âWhat are your views on the fall of the Government?â
âNo. Talk about yourself. Where were you wounded? I want to know that. Was it in France?â
âDâyou think it tactful to bring up the subject?â
âI think it would be too tactful if I avoided it.â
I said in surprise: â Maybe youâre right.⦠Though I donât want to go on about it.â
All the same I found myself telling her about Normandy and the tank battles round Caen and how the shell had burst much nearer two other men who had only got scratched up a bit ⦠I went on about the rest, and didnât realise till afterwards that it was practically the first time Iâd told anyone the whole thing.
We put in most of the evening there, I sat near enough to make out the light in her eyes sometimes and the glimmer of her teeth. Sheâd a pleasant laugh, self-deprecating and a little husky. She was wearing a tight velvet bodice of some sort with a white brooch at her throat. I think she was more frank and open and more quickly companionable with me because I had this drawback. I wasnât, as other men: ordinary standards didnât apply.
Sheâd a queer way of looking at things. She wouldnât talk about her own experiences, but it was plain enough they had been bitter some way or another. Underneath her liveliness, her self-chiding humour, her youth, was a layer of