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problems…But one glance at my father's face left no doubt.
    “The news is terrible,” he said at last. And then one word: “Transports.”
    The ghetto was to be liquidated entirely. Departures were to take place street by street, starting the next day.
    We wanted to know everything, every detail. We were stunned, yet we wanted to fully absorb the bitter news.
    “Where will they take us?”
    That was a secret. A secret for all, except one: the president of the Jewish Council. But he would not tell, or could not tell. The Gestapo had threatened to shoot him if he talked.
    “There are rumors,” my father said, his voice breaking, “that we are being taken somewhere in Hungary to work in the brick factories. It seems that here, we are too close to the front…”
    After a moment's silence, he added:
    “Each of us will be allowed to bring his personal belong- ings. A backpack, some food, a few items of clothing. Nothing else.”
    Again, heavy silence.
    “Go and wake the neighbors,” said my father. “They must get ready…”
    The shadows around me roused themselves as if from a deep sleep and left silently in every direction.
     
     
    FOR A MOMENT, we remained alone. Suddenly Batia Reich, a relative who lived with us, entered the room: “Someone is knocking at the sealed window, the one that faces outside!”
    It was only after the war that I found out who had knocked that night. It was an inspector of the Hungarian police, a friend of my father's. Before we entered the ghetto, he had told us, “Don't worry. I'll warn you if there is danger.” Had he been able to speak to us that night, we might still have been able to flee…But by the time we succeeded in opening the window, it was too late. There was nobody outside.
     
     
    THE GHETTO was awake. One after the other, the lights were go- ing on behind the windows.
    I went into the house of one of my father's friends. I woke the head of the household, a man with a gray beard and the gaze of a dreamer. His back was hunched over from untold nights spent studying.
    “Get up, sir, get up! You must ready yourself for the journey. Tomorrow you will be expelled, you and your family, you and all the other Jews. Where to? Please don't ask me, sir, don't ask ques- tions. God alone could answer you. For heaven's sake, get up…”
    He had no idea what I was talking about. He probably thought I had lost my mind.
    “What are you saying? Get ready for the journey? What jour- ney? Why? What is happening? Have you gone mad?”
    Half asleep, he was staring at me, his eyes filled with terror, as though he expected me to burst out laughing and tell him to go back to bed. To sleep. To dream. That nothing had happened. It was all in jest…
    My throat was dry and the words were choking me, paralyzing my lips. There was nothing else to say.
    At last he understood. He got out of bed and began to dress, automatically. Then he went over to the bed where his wife lay sleeping and with infinite tenderness touched her forehead. She opened her eyes and it seemed to me that a smile crossed her lips. Then he went to wake his two children. They woke with a start, torn from their dreams. I fled.
    Time went by quickly. It was already four o'clock in the morn- ing. My father was running right and left, exhausted, consoling friends, checking with the Jewish Council just in case the order had been rescinded. To the last moment, people clung to hope.
    The women were boiling eggs, roasting meat, preparing cakes, sewing backpacks. The children were wandering about aimlessly, not knowing what to do with themselves to stay out of the way of the grown-ups.
    Our backyard looked like a marketplace. Valuable objects, precious rugs, silver candlesticks, Bibles and other ritual objects were strewn over the dusty grounds—pitiful relics that seemed never to have had a home. All this under a magnificent blue sky.
    By eight o'clock in the morning, weariness had settled into our veins, our limbs, our brains,