Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! Read Online Free PDF

bonkers!

12
One Way to Handle a Sub
    â€œEveryone stay calm!” yelled the beautiful Mrs. Cooney. “Mrs. Yonkers is on her way over. She’ll know what to do.”
    Mrs. Cooney put a bag of ice on Emily’s head, while Mrs. Robo-Yonkers chased Dr. Carbles around the computer lab. Finally Mrs. Yonkers arrived with her cheese head.
    â€œWhat’s the big emergency?” she asked.
    â€œYour robot clone is crazy!” yelled Mr. Klutz.
    â€œHelp!” yelled Dr. Carbles. “She’s trying to kill me!”
    â€œOh dear,” said Mrs. Yonkers. “I guess I still have to work out some of the bugs.”
    â€œHow do we stop her?” cried Mrs. Cooney.
    â€œThere’s only one thing to do,” Mrs. Yonkers said as she pulled a remote control out of her pocket. “I must destroy Mrs. Robo-Yonkers. Everybody stand back.”
    Mrs. Robo-Yonkers had Dr. Carbles pinned against the whiteboard. We all hid our eyes. I waited for the sound of the explosion.

    But nothing happened. The only sound I heard was Mrs. Yonkers crying.
    â€œI can’t do it,” Mrs. Yonkers sobbed as she handed the remote control to Mrs. Cooney. “Here, you do it. Push the button marked SELF-DESTRUCT.”
    Dr. Carbles crawled between Mrs. Robo-Yonkers’s legs and ran away. Mrs. Cooney pushed the button.
    One second…
    Two seconds…
    Three seconds…
    â€œDUCK!” I shouted.
    BAM! There was a big explosion. Pieces of Mrs. Robo-Yonkers went flying everywhere. Her head landed on top of the flagpole in the corner of the computer lab.
    â€œI’ll be back,” the head said. And then it fell into the garbage can.
    It was a real Kodak moment. You should have been there! And we got to see it live and in person.
    When it was all over, Mrs. Yonkers was sitting on the floor, crying.
    â€œBoo hoo,” she cried. “I created Mrs. Robo-Yonkers with my bare hands. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for all this to happen.”
    We told Mrs. Yonkers it wasn’t her fault that her clone went crazy and attackedthe president of the Board of Education. And that’s when Little Miss Big Mouth had to open her trap.

    â€œIt’s all Arlo’s fault,” said Andrea. “If he hadn’t said all those weird sentences to Mrs. Robo-Yonkers, none of this would have happened. You killed her, Arlo!”
    â€œNo, I didn’t kill her,” I said as I pointed at Mrs. Cooney. “Twas beauty that killed the beast.”

13
The Moral of the Story
    We were all pretty bummed that Mrs. Robo-Yonkers exploded. Especially Mrs. Yonkers. All of us kids gathered around to hug her. And that’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Somebody walked into the computer lab, and you’ll never believe ina million hundred years who it was.
    I’m not going to tell you.
    Okay, okay. I’ll tell you.
    It was Speedy the turtle!
    â€œSpeedy!” yelled Mrs. Yonkers. “You came back!”
    She picked up Speedy and hugged him and kissed his shell. We were all so happy to see him, no one seemed to care anymore that Mrs. Robo-Yonkers exploded. If you ask me, Mrs. Yonkers loved Speedymore than she loved Mrs. Robo-Yonkers anyway.

    Well, the moral of the story is…that there is no moral of the story. Who decided that stories have to have morals anyway? Sometimes weird stuff just happens for no good reason. Especially at my weird school.
    Maybe Mrs. Yonkers will be able to build a new robot clone. Maybe she’ll make a million dollars from the Junk Food Transformer. Or maybe she’ll make a computer that you plug into your head so we don’t have to go to school anymore. Maybe she’ll stop writing e-mails to herself. Maybe Emily will stop fallingdown and Andrea will stop being so annoying. Maybe I’ll find a way to live in a world without junk food. Maybe we’ll travel through time to the 21st century.
    But it won’t