Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers! Read Online Free PDF Page A

QUESTION,” said Mrs. Robo-Yonkers.
    â€œFiremen banana stomach pitchfork?” I asked.
    â€œI DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION,” said Mrs. Robo-Yonkers. “PLEASE REPEAT THE QUESTION.”
    â€œFootball my orange telephone?” I asked.
    â€œDOES NOT COMPUTE,” said Mrs. Robo-Yonkers. “PLEASE REPEAT.”
    â€œWatermelon lawn chair atomic bicycle?” I asked.
    â€œWhat are you doing, Arlo?” asked Andrea.
    â€œComputers aren’t very good at understanding language,” I said. “I’m yanking her chain. That’s what you’re supposed to do with substitute teachers. It’s the first rule of being a kid.”
    â€œI DO NOT UNDERSTAND,” said Mrs. Robo-Yonkers.
    â€œMonster my upside down moon machine?” I asked.
    â€œStop it, Arlo!” Andrea said. “You’re going to get us in trouble!”
    But it was too late. We were already in trouble. Mrs. Robo-Yonkers started shaking and twitching.
    â€œSYSTEM ERROR! SYSTEM ERROR! SYSTEM ERROR!” she droned.
    Smoke was coming out of her head,and sparks were shooting out of her neck. She started turning around in circles and bumping into desks.

    â€œI think she blew a circuit!” said Michael.
    Mrs. Robo-Yonkers was rolling crazily around the computer lab, crashing into everything in her path. Kids were diving out of the way.
    â€œRun for your lives!” shouted Neil the nude kid.
    â€œI’ll get Mr. Klutz!” yelled Andrea as she ran out of the lab.
    Mrs. Robo-Yonkers was bouncing around the computer lab like a pinball. She was out of control. Finally, Mr. Klutz came running in.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” he yelled.
    â€œMrs. Robo-Yonkers has gone berserk!” I told him.
    â€œLeave it to me,” Mr. Klutz said. “I used to work with computers in my younger days. Where does Mrs. Yonkers keep the robot’s remote control?”
    â€œIn a remote location,” I said.
    â€œSYSTEM ERROR! SYSTEM ERROR! SYSTEM ERROR!”
    As Mrs. Robo-Yonkers spun around in circles, one of her arms hit Emily before she could duck out of the way.
    â€œOwwww! My head!” Emily was on the floor, freaking out as usual.
    â€œCall Mrs. Cooney!” shouted Mr. Klutz. “Tell her to bring her first-aid kit!”
    Mrs. Robo-Yonkers was running aroundthe computer lab. Mr. Klutz was running around the computer lab. All of us kids were running around the computer lab. It was a lot like that scene in the movie King Kong when Kong broke his chains and went running around the streets of New York. Everybody was going crazy.
    And you’ll never believe who showed up at that very moment.
    It was Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education! Oh, snap!
    â€œKlutz!” Dr. Carbles shouted. “What’s the meaning of this?”
    â€œNothing to worry about, sir,” Mr. Klutz said, as Mrs. Robo-Yonkers crashed into the whiteboard.
    â€œWhy is it that every time I visit thisschool, the students are running around like lunatics?” demanded Dr. Carbles. “These kids are obviously hopped up on junk food!”

    â€œOh no, sir!” said Mr. Klutz. “We got rid of all the junk food. We even put in a junk food detector at the front door.”
    At that very moment, Mrs. Robo-Yonkers rammed into the closet where we hid all the candy the day before. Twinkies and Twix and Jolly Ranchers and Skittles and Chuckles went flying all over the place.
    â€œKlutz!” yelled Dr. Carbles. “What’s the meaning of this? I thought you got rid of all the junk food.”
    â€œWe did!” Mr. Klutz said. “Somebody get Mrs. Yonkers on the phone!”
    That’s when Mrs. Cooney (who is beautiful) came running in with her first-aid kit. She took out her cell phone and started dialing frantically. Mrs. Robo-Yonkers was chasing Dr. Carbles around the computer lab. It was just like in that King Kong movie.
    Mrs. Robo-Yonkers was