told him all about me. He offered me support and advice. He even offered to take me out some time. A date! I wasasked on a date! OK, we hadnât set an actual date, but the prospect of one delighted me.
Iâd gone home and gone through my wardrobe. I discarded my âbestâ outfit, which only a few days ago would have been my immediate choice. I decided that I needed to go shopping. I decided to spend some of my first pay cheque on a new outfit. For once I didnât have Charlie breathing down my neck, trying to make me feel guilty for buying something for myself. I couldnât remember the last time I went shopping just for me. Usually everything I bought was for the boys.
On Thursday afternoon, after my third day at work, Brian returned from school with a scowl on his face. This wasnât unusual, but this time his anger was directed entirely at me.
âWhy didnât you tell me you were working at the supermarket?â
I lifted my weary legs up from the sofa where I was lying and sat up.
âWhat?â was all I could think of to say. I had told him about the job at least five times over the past month. But he never seemed to be interested.
âYou heard me,â he said rudely.
âExcuse me, donât you speak to me like that,â I said calmly. âI can remember at least five occasions when I told you about the job. But as usual you ignored me. Whatâs the problem?â
He shifted his body weight from foot to foot. He looked at me with the same sort of expression as his father.
âYouâre obviously angry about something, Brian. You may as well tell me what because Iâm not going to guess,â I said. There was a difference within me today. I didnât care what his problem was. I didnât care if I had done something to annoy him. This time Iknew it wasnât my fault. It had never been my fault. Thatâs what Mr Whippy had taught me.
âIâve been hearing about you at school,â he said a little less confidently. âYouâre working with some of my mates.â
âReally?â I said, sipping my tea. I felt myself become even calmer. I simply didnât care. He couldnât control my emotions any more.
âAnd Jenny, youâve been talking to Jenny. I donât want you talking to her.â He tried to sound aggressive. He tried to sound mature and threatening. Just like his great old dad.
I laughed into the cup and spluttered my tea down my top.
His face reddened at being mocked.
âOh,
Jenny
.â I smiled. âI see. Jenny is the girlfriend you and Charlie wouldnât tell me about.â
He looked surprised.
âI like Jenny,â I said, still smiling. âI was working with her this afternoon. Lovely girl. You know she works three times a week for her
own
money? Sheâs a great girl.â I sipped the rest of my tea and continued to watch the TV.
âDonât talk to her, Mam. I donât want you talking to her,â he said through gritted teeth.
Vincent had appeared in the hall and was hiding behind the door, listening.
âWhy? Are you ashamed of me?â I asked, looking him in the eye.
He looked away. âWhy are you working there?â he asked angrily.
âIâm working there because your darling father, who you adore so much, has cut my money.
One
of us has to feed and clothe you. If he wonât do it, I will.â
âHe does look after us,â Brian said in defence of his dad.
âHow? He takes you to McDonaldâs on Saturdays? What else does he do?â
Brian stared at me blankly and then spoke. âYou wonât let us see him any other days.â
My mouth dropped open. âExcuse me?â I sat up even more. âThatâs what heâs told you, is it? Well, Brian, listen to this carefully. Your father hasnât even asked me
once
if he can take you another day.â I wanted to say that it was my idea for him to take