Mrs. Lilly Is Silly! Read Online Free PDF

the lady who burns down houses, the car thief, and, uh, who’s the dog killer?” he asked.
    â€œThat would be me,” said Mrs. Patty, raising her hand.
    â€œThe guy who kisses married women can stay,” said the policeman, “and so can the illegal alien and the lady who thinks she sees Elvis in soup bowls. But we’re keeping an eye on you three.”

    He put handcuffs on Mr. Docker, Mrs. Yonkers, Ms. Coco, and Mrs. Patty. Then he led them out the doorway. It was cool! We got to see it live and in person.
    Nobody said anything for a while after the police car drove away. Then Mrs. Lilly stood up and put her trench coat on.
    â€œWell, my work is done here,” she said. “You can thank me later. For now, I have to go.”
    â€œDo you have to go,” I asked, “or do you have to go ?”
    â€œI mean, leave,” said Mrs. Lilly.
    â€œYou don’t need to use leaves,” I told her. “There’s toilet paper in the bathroom.”

    Dr. Carbles and just about all the other grown-ups left the classroom after that. The only one who was still there was Mr. Granite.
    â€œOkay,” said Mr. Granite, “maybe we can finally do our math lesson now. Turn to page twenty-three in your—”
    He never got the chance to finish his sentence, because at that moment a loud bell rang.
    Brrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnnnngggggg!
    It was three o’clock! Time to go home! Yay! No math!
    When I got home, my mom asked me what happened at school during the day.
    â€œNothing,” I said. *

I didn’t know if school would be open on Monday, because Mr. Klutz and half the teachers were in jail. But when I got to school, the front door was open, and there were a bunch of substitute teachers in the halls.
    Most of the kids were already in class when I got there. I put my stuff in my cubby and sat down. * And you’ll never believe who walked into the door at that moment.
    It was Mayor Hubble, who is like the king of the whole town! He walked right into the door!
    â€œOuch!” Mayor Hubble said. “That hurts!”
    â€œWill you be our teacher today, Mayor?” asked Andrea, who never misses the chance to brownnose a grown-up.
    â€œYes,” Mayor Hubble said, “we ran out of substitute teachers, so I’m filling in today.”

    â€œIs it true that you were going to the bathroom when a tree fell on your house?” Alexia asked the mayor.
    â€œYes, I was trapped in there for many hours.”
    â€œWell, at least you had a bathroom handy,” I said.
    The mayor opened up his briefcase and pulled out some papers. He passed one to each of us.
    â€œThe teachers were inspired by you kids,” Mayor Hubble said. “Over the weekend, they made a little newspaper just like yours. I thought you might want to look at it. There are some great human interest stories in here.”
    I looked at the newspaper. This is what the top headline said:

    â€œEwwwwwwwww, disgusting!” Neil the nude kid shouted.
    â€œHey, A.J.,” said Michael. “Did you really eat your nose?”
    â€œNo!” I shouted.
    I wanted to go run away to Antarctica and live with the penguins. Then I looked at the other headlines on the page:

    Everybody was yelling and screaming and freaking out. And nobody was more upset than Andrea.
    â€œThat’s a lie!” she shouted. “I never got less than an A plus on any test in my life!”
    â€œThe teachers can’t print these lies about us!” shouted Neil the nude kid.
    â€œSure they can,” said Mayor Hubble. “Did you ever hear of freedom of the press?”
    â€œThat’s not fair!” we all shouted.
    At that moment an announcement came over the loudspeaker. We had to report to the all-purpose room for an assembly.

    â€œIt’s time to go,” said Mayor Hubble.
    â€œIs it time to go,” I asked, “or is it time to go ?”
    â€œIt’s time to go,” said