Moving Forward Read Online Free PDF Page B

as I did, but it would require a great deal of adjustment, and while yes, we loved the little girl, the fact that she wouldn’t have any real memories of Ava and Matt chewed at me. It wasn’t fair. Ava had been so excited to become a mother, but in the end, she had only spent three short months with her baby daughter. The unfairness of it left a bitter taste in my mouth as Payne wrapped strong arms around me, and I leaned back in his always comforting embrace.

    “I remember when this was Ava’s room,” he whispered in my ear, and I nodded, feeling nostalgic.

    “Want to know a secret?” I asked.

    “Of course.”

    “I used to go crazy when you and Ava would come up here and close the door because I thought… well, you can only imagine what I thought you two were doing.”

    “Were you jealous?”

    “At the time, I wouldn’t have admitted I was jealous, not even under the threat of torture, but yeah, I was insanely jealous, and I couldn’t decide who I hated more.” I laughed at the memory. “It seemed so wrong that not only was Ava beautiful and graceful and Dad’s favorite child, she had the hottest boyfriend ever.”

    “Hottest boyfriend ever, huh?”

    “Please.” Though he couldn’t see it, I rolled my eyes. “As if you didn’t know you were freakin’ gorgeous, Every time I saw you, I had to hide behind a book or a piece of furniture to keep from totally humiliating myself.”

    “Well, my love, let me assure you, whenever Ava and I were up here with the door closed, she was on the phone with Matt, or gushing about Matt, while I sat here and wished I was down the hallway, alone with you in your bedroom.”

    “Really?”

    “Jamie, I was crazy about you back then but too damn insecure with myself to do anything to let you know I came over here to be near you, not Ava.”

    I turned in his arms and looked up at him. “We were both more than a little insecure back them, but I… I’m glad we finally figured it out, because I love you so damn much, Payne.”

    “I love you too, Jamie.”

    “If I ever lost you….” I shook my head, and Payne pulled me closer to him.

    “Don’t do that. Okay? Don’t worry about losing me. Don’t think about all the bad things that could happen, because worrying like that will just drive you crazy, babe.”

    I knew he was right, and I nodded as I laid my head against his chest for a few minutes, simply enjoying being close, wrapped in Payne’s arms. I was safe . Payne’s strength and his warmth soothed me, and I was about to tell him again that I loved him when there was a light knock on the door, and a second later, Mrs. Sutherland poked her head inside with an apologetic look. I started to smile and assure her she hadn’t interrupted anything, when she shocked me by calmly announcing that my father was downstairs in the kitchen. With my mother. And he wanted to see me. What? I looked back to Payne and noticed a slightly surprised look, along with a guilty shift of his eyes, and after Mrs. Sutherland slipped away, he admitted he had paid my father a visit the day before.

    He hadn’t mentioned it earlier because he hadn’t wanted to upset me more, and I smiled. “You went to see him so I didn’t have to, and I love you for wanting to protect me.”

    “Well, I know what an ass he can be, and I have to admit, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant conversation.”

    “He was drunk?”

    “He wasn’t quite drunk, but he was drinking, and I pretty much told him he was a miserable old bastard and you were a better man than he will ever be.”

    “I’m almost sorry I missed that.” I brushed a kiss over his lips and he smiled. “Thank you for doing that for me, but now he wants to see me, and while I can’t say I look forward to a conversation with him, I’m not going to hide away.” Never again. Ever .

    If my father had a problem with me, that was something he would have to live with. That I had decided long ago, and while I was a little