Moving Forward Read Online Free PDF

eyes.

    “Payne, I need you.” He whispered the admission, his hand fisted into my shirt, and I swallowed hard because the vulnerable and raw emotions churning inside of him called out to me. “Maybe that makes me horrible, wanting you now, but I… God, I need to feel more than grief and pain, and I….”

    I captured those beautiful lips in a heated kiss, filled with passion and desperation, and Jamie responded, opening his mouth and shifting in my lap so he could better wrap his arms around my neck. He was trembling with need. And I knew just what it would take to satisfy that need. This wasn’t the time for leisurely lovemaking. Jamie craved something hard and passionate, the kind of coupling that was driven by pure need, and I was more than willing to give him just that. Whatever he wanted. Anything. I was just as zealous, wanting him— needing him —and I maneuvered us from the bed long enough to quickly strip Jamie and then myself, leaving clothing tossed carelessly to the floor.

    Tangled together, we fell back onto the bed, and I kissed Jamie again in a clash of lips and tongue and teeth. It was a frantic kiss, and Jamie responded with enthusiasm.

    “Love you, baby,” I whispered, kissing my way down his body, over his chest and stomach, paying close attention to the particularly sensitive patches along the way. I could feel him tremble beneath my touch, and I loved it. I loved turning him on, tasting him, and bringing him the pleasure he needed as my lips wrapped around his straining cock and Jamie tangled a hand eagerly in my hair while gasping my name. I knew it would not take long. He was too tense, too close to the edge, and I lifted my eyes so they were locked on his as my tongue snaked around him. I cupped his balls in one hand, rolling, gently tugging, doing all the things I knew he liked, and with a strangled cry, he came hard in my mouth, and I swallowed every drop with greedy delight.

    The sound of Jamie whispering my name had me kissing my way up his body to claim his full lips with the intense hunger that always burned between us.

    For the next hour, I showed him how much I loved him, again and again, giving him exactly what he needed.

James

    The following day was a blur of people coming and going: friends of Matt’s and Ava’s, coworkers, neighbors. There was a wonderful outpouring of comfort, and for my mother’s sake, I was grateful for it, but the endless parade of people left me unsettled. I wasn’t much for talking about my feelings with strangers, or with people who weren’t strangers. The only person I had ever truly opened up to with any success was Payne. It was okay to be vulnerable with him. If I cried, I did it on his shoulder, somewhere hidden away from prying eyes, and I did my best to appear emotionally sound when facing visitors and with my emotionally fragile mother.

    I paid a visit to Matt’s parents. His father was indeed in bad condition, and his mother wasn’t much better, but she thanked me for handling the funeral arrangements and asked me to please keep her updated on Aubrey.

    “I know your life is in New York,” she assured me, “and I think that Matt and Ava made a wise decision when they selected you and your husband to be Aubrey’s guardians.”

    It meant a lot to me to hear her say that, but as I expected, others weren’t of the same opinion, and I found myself confronted by a cousin of my father’s later in the afternoon. The woman was positively outraged by the prospect of Payne and me raising Aubrey. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t natural. It was the same basically brainless argument every homophobic bigot spouted, and I ignored her for the most part, but I sensed that she was pushing Payne’s buttons, so I took his hand and we went upstairs to look in on Aubrey, who was sleeping peacefully. I still couldn’t believe we were now responsible for her. It was a huge responsibility. I knew we could handle it. I knew Payne loved Aubrey was much