More Than I Can Bear Read Online Free PDF Page A

agree with what you are doing, but heck, over the years I’m sure there are a lot of things you’ve done that I haven’t agreed with. I’m sure there are a lot of things I’ve done that you haven’t agreed with.” Norman exhaled. “Heck, I know for a fact there are because you don’t hesitate to let me know. Still, just because I don’t agree with some of your choices doesn’t mean I’m not going to be there for you. Like I said, Paige, I’m your friend. Friends don’t abandon friends in their time of need. I was called to be your friend, not your judge. What don’t you get about that?”
    Paige could tell from Norman’s tone that he was almost offended that she perhaps doubted his friendship to her. “I’m sorry, Norman.” She shook her head as if her scrambled thoughts might happen to fall into order with a shake or two of the head. “I don’t mean to question your friendship. But right now I’m questioning life. Not just the life of this baby, but my own life.” Paige pounded her flat hand against her chest. “For a split second”—she snapped her finger—“I thought about taking my own life. That’s serious.” Her eyes watered.
    â€œThis is all serious. I get that,” Norman assured her.
    â€œAnd you know what changed my mind about taking a knife and cutting my wrist? The fact that I’d guarantee myself a ticket to hell for committing suicide. But see, if I just take out this baby, I reasoned with myself, I could repent, receive God’s forgiveness and have some kind of chance at getting into heaven. Is that sick or what?”
    â€œNo, it’s actually valid reasoning. And at the same time, it’s selfish.”
    â€œOf course it’s selfish, but don’t I have the right to be selfish for once in my life? All the crap I’ve been through? I was in an abusive relationship, my so-called best friend sl—”
    â€œSlept with my husband,” Norman cut her off and began mocking her. “You were raped. Your mother didn’t give you the attention and love you deserved growing up,” Norman said. “Is that your story? Is that who you are going to be for the rest of your life? Is that what is going to define you? If so, I don’t know, Paige. Maybe I’m not the friend you need in your life.”
    â€œWell, maybe you’re not!” Paige spat as she stood to her feet. “A friend understands and sympathizes when—”
    â€œAnd that’s just what you’re looking for isn’t it? Sympathy. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like the pleasure of being honest for once. Or ‘keeping it real.’” Norman used quotation marks for his last statement. “Paige, I truly understand all that you have been through in your life and you don’t deserve not one ounce of the pain you’ve endured either physically or mentally. But what I don’t want to see you do is use that pain as an excuse or as an attention seeker.”
    â€œWhat, come again?” Paige’s bottom lip began to tremble in anger at Norman’s words.
    â€œSo many people use their pain as a means to get people to feel sorry for them because when someone feels sorry for you it’s a form of attention. I can think of so many other things about you that are attention getters. Positive things. Don’t let the negative things that have happened to you in your life be who you are. That’s not a person I would want to be friends with, Paige. And neither would you if the shoe were on the other foot.”
    â€œIf the shoe were on the other foot I’d . . . I’d . . .” This was the moment of truth for Paige. Either she was going to face her truth or get mad at Norman for telling the truth. “I’d want a friend like you to tell me the truth and not just what I want to hear.” There; she’d relented.