Miss Kraft Is Daft! Read Online Free PDF Page A

one more bad thing, he’s going to hang me,” I told her. “So I don’t want to be involved in any more tricks.”
    â€œDon’t worry about Mr. Klutz,” Miss Kraft told me. “I know how to take care of him.”
    â€œSo what’s your most amazing trick ever, Miss Kraft?” asked Neil the nude kid.
    â€œI’m going to saw one of you in half!” she announced.
    â€œCool!” we all shouted. Sawing people in half is just about the coolest thing in the history of the world.
    â€œWhere did you get that big box?” asked Ryan.
    â€œAt a big-box store,” said Miss Kraft. “Okay, which one of you wants to get sawed in half?”
    â€œMe! Me! Me!” we all shouted.
    â€œNot me,” said Little Miss Perfect. “I don’t like violence.”
    â€œWhat do you have against violins?” I asked her.
    â€œNot violins, Arlo,” Andrea said, rolling her eyes. “Violence!”
    I knew that violins and violence were two different things. I was just yanking Andrea’s chain.
    â€œOkay,” said Miss Kraft as she opened the lid of the big box, “the student who gets to be sawed in half will be … ANDREA!”
    â€œYay!” shouted everybody except for Andrea.
    â€œPlease come up to the front of the room, Andrea, and climb into the big box.”
    Andrea looked really mad. She was the only one who didn’t want to get sawed in half, and now she was going to be sawed in half. Ha! Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her.
    At first I thought she would refuse to do it. But Andrea always does anything a grown-up tells her to do, so she went up to the front of the room and climbed into the big box. There was a hole at one end for her head to poke through.
    â€œAre you comfy?” Miss Kraft asked Andrea. “I want to make sure you’re comfortable before I saw you in half.”
    â€œYes,” Andrea said, but she sounded like she didn’t mean it. She looked like she might cry.
    Miss Kraft went to the closet and took out a saw. It was gigantic !
    â€œEeeeeeeeeeeek!” Andrea screamed as she looked at the saw.
    â€œDon’t worry,” Miss Kraft assured Andrea. “This won’t hurt a bit.”
    â€œI’m scared!” said Emily, the big crybaby.
    Miss Kraft started sawing the box. Sawdust was flying everywhere. Andrea closed her eyes. The saw dug into the box. *
    â€œI am The Great Kraftini!” shouted Miss Kraft as she pushed and pulled the saw back and forth.
    â€œHelp!” Andrea shouted. “Stop!”
    â€œWe’ve got to do something!” Emily shouted, and then she went running out of the room.
    â€œWhew, this is hard work!” Miss Kraft said after a few minutes of sawing. She wiped her face with a tissue. Then she wiped Andrea’s face with a tissue.
    â€œCan we stop now?” Andrea begged.
    â€œStop?” said Miss Kraft. “I’m only halfway done. You know what they say: If you start a job, you should always finish it.”
    Miss Kraft went back to sawing for a few minutes, and then she stopped again.
    â€œI’m tired!” she said. “Who wants to take over?”
    â€œMe! Me! Me!” everybody shouted.

    â€œA.J. should take over,” Neil said. “He hates Andrea more than anybody.”
    It was true. Nobody hates Andrea more than I do. Sawing her in half would be the greatest moment of my life.
    But I knew what would happen. I’d start sawing Andrea in half, and then Mr. Klutz would walk in and suspend me.
    Everybody started chanting. “A.J.! A.J.! A.J.!”
    â€œWould you like to finish sawing Andrea in half, A.J.?” asked Miss Kraft.
    I really wanted to saw Andrea in half. But at the same time, I really didn’t want to get into trouble again. I was faced with the hardest decision of my life.
    I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I was concentrating so hard that my brain