Miss Kraft Is Daft! Read Online Free PDF

hurt.
    â€œA.J.,” said Ryan, “if you don’t want to saw Andrea in half, that must mean you’re in love with her.”
    WHAT?!
    â€œThat’s right,” said Michael. “A.J., you can prove once and for all that you’re not secretly in love with Andrea by sawing her in half.”
    â€œLet me out of here!” Andrea shouted. “I don’t want anybody to saw me in half!”
    â€œOkay,” I finally agreed. “I’ll do it!”
    â€œYay!” shouted everybody except for Andrea.
    I went up to the front of the class, and Miss Kraft handed me the saw.
    â€œAre you sure it’s going to be okay?” I asked her.
    â€œSure I’m sure,” she replied. “Go ahead. I’ve done this trick a million times. Nothing can go wrong.”
    I started sawing the box.
    â€œHelp! Help!” Andrea shouted. “Don’t do it! Stop, Arlo!”
    The sawdust was flying and Andrea was screaming and everybody was hooting and hollering. This was the greatest day of my life.
    â€œOooooo!” Ryan said. “A.J. is sawing Andrea in half. They must be in love !”
    â€œWhen are you gonna get married?” asked Michael.

    If those guys weren’t my best friends, I would hate them.
    â€œHelp! No! Stop!” Andrea shouted. I was almost finished sawing through the box.
    And you’ll never believe in a million hundred years who walked into the room at that moment.
    I’m not going to tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you.
    But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

12
The Return of Mr. Granite
    Okay, so where were we? Oh, yeah, I was sawing Andrea in half while she was screaming and begging for me to stop. That’s when guess who walked into the room.
    Mr. Klutz! And he was madder than I had ever seen him. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head like in the cartoons.
    â€œA.J.!” he shouted, grabbing the saw out of my hand. “What are you doing?”
    â€œUh … nothing,” I replied.
    If you get caught doing something really bad and somebody asks you what you’re doing, always say “Nothing”—even if you have a giant saw in your hand and you’re about to saw somebody in half. That’s the first rule of being a kid.
    â€œSawing students in half is not acceptable behavior in school!” Mr. Klutz yelled. “That’s it! I warned you several times, A.J. You are suspended … for the rest of your life!”

    â€œWhat?! I didn’t do anything!” I shouted. “Miss Kraft! Tell him this was all your idea!”
    That’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Miss Kraft snapped her fingers.
    Well, that’s not the amazing part, because anybody can snap their fingers. The amazing part was that when Miss Kraft snapped her fingers, a big puff of smoke appeared where Mr. Klutz was standing. And when the smoke cleared, Mr. Klutz was gone!
    Zap! Just like that. We got to see it live and in person. You should have been there!
    â€œHow did you do that?” we were all asking. “Where did Mr. Klutz go?”
    â€œA magician never reveals her secrets,” Miss Kraft said. “I told you I would take care of Mr. Klutz.”

    Â 
    Well, that’s pretty much what happened. We didn’t see Mr. Klutz for the rest of the day. I don’t know where he went.
    When I got home, my mom had a snack waiting for me in the kitchen. *
    â€œHow was school today?” she asked. “Did anything interesting happen?”
    â€œNah,” told her. “School is boring.”
    â€œYou say that every day, A.J.,” my mom said. “Interesting things must happen at school sometimes.”
    â€œNope.”
    Well, I wasn’t going to tell her that Mr. Granite almost died, or that I tied up Miss Kraft, or that I sawed Andrea in half, or that Mr. Klutz suspended me and disappeared in a puff of