Mine to Lose Read Online Free PDF Page B

away. His movements are slow and gentle as he kisses a
trail from my cheek down to the base of my neck. I could get lost in this
moment- in him. I want this and the simplicity of the moment. But then I recall
his note, and it’s the cold shower I need. “You need to go,” I repeat.
    “No,” he says, as he finally loosens his
grip on my waist. “You told me to leave last night, and I did. I don’t think we
are better for it.”
    “Well, I’m not the one who packed a bag
today,” I remind him.
    “We have some things to talk about,” he
says. “Like, what was tha-”
    “Hold that thought,” I interrupt, rushing
to get to the bathroom, fighting a sudden wave of nausea.
    I empty the contents of my stomach not
once, but three times, before finally passing out. I wish the night had ended
differently; perhaps with me making love to my fiancé, who will soon be leaving
for another state.

CHAPTER 4
    After Ryan left the other night, I had
nothing but time on my hands to think. Sometimes, when you say something before
you can stop yourself, all you have is regret.  I didn't really want him
to leave, but I was so pissed, and letting him see how upset I was went against
everything inside of me.
    Waking up, not sure where Ryan was, I am
shocked to find him on the couch. It leaves me feeling uncomfortable. I know
that I acted like an ass last night, but in my inebriated state, I really
didn't care. In the light of day, I cringe. I know he will be expecting for us to
talk, but I’d rather sleep off my hangover.
    I finally get up to the smell of coffee
brewing and clattering coming from the kitchen. When I move to sit up, I
realize that I’m still wearing my black bra and panties from last night. Ryan’s
watch is on his side of the bed and for a moment, I feel like everything is
normal. I wish this feeling could stay forever. Minus the raging
hangover. A buzzing noise sounds from somewhere in the room and I begin
searching for the source. Feeling around and listening to the buzz, I drop to
my knees to find my phone hidden beneath my bed. I can only imagine how it
ended up there. When I look at the screen, there are a few texts from Joss and
Cam.
    Joss: Are you pissed at me?
    Cam: What the hell happened? Why
did you call me at 2 am?
    I feel guilty for bothering Cam. I’m not
sure why I called her last night, but since Ryan is here, I’m pretty sure I can
guess. I send them both texts to let them know I’ll call later before tossing
my phone aside. I gather the strength to get to my feet and go to the bathroom
to wash my face, only to gasp at my train-wreck appearance. My dark blonde hair
that was styled so cute last night is a frizzy mess, and my black eyeliner
looks hooker-chic, smeared all over my eyes. Very sexy. I wince when the
slightest movement of my head elicits a pain so sharp, I believe lying in bed
all day might remedy the unfortunate position I’ve put myself in. I move as
fast as I can to clean myself up before pulling on a T-shirt and joining Ryan
in the kitchen. At least you look a little better, I mutter to my reflection.
    When I walk out, I have to stifle a gasp
because he looks pretty sexy for someone I’m pretty sure I’m still furious
with. His disheveled brown hair and morning scruff are two things I love seeing
on the weekends. Today, he’s taken it a step further, moving around the kitchen
shirtless. I compose myself, walk to the barstool and take a seat without
saying a word. Ryan finally looks in my direction and in his eyes I see a flash
of amusement, and I know it’s because I’m walking around in nothing but a
T-shirt and underwear.
    I hold back a smile, making eye contact
with him, both of us playing a game of chicken. I will not flinch. He
grabs a mug from the cabinet and pours a cup of coffee before setting it in
front of me. My lips turn up in a small smile as I pull the mug to my lips, grateful
for the silence. Well, aside from the pounding in my head that I’m surprised he
can’t