Mine to Lose Read Online Free PDF

back off. I was talking to her.” His
voice is calm and strong, like he’s someone who doesn’t take shit from anyone.
     I blink in shock over his words to
Ryan, who looks like he’s about to blow up. I give hero-guy a tight smile and nod
that I am okay, but he doesn’t look completely convinced. He cocks his head and
drops it a fraction lower, silently questioning before he walks away. Part of
me is grateful to see Ryan act out of sorts. But the other part of me is
annoyed, because being the jealous guy isn’t his thing and now is the wrong
time to start displaying his tough-guy act.
    “Ryan, I am not leaving with you. I’m
here with Joss,” I inform him, but I realize that Joss hasn’t returned from the
restroom. I start turning my head in that direction to see if I can spot her.
    “She called me,” he states, answering my
unasked question, clearly annoyed. “That’s why I’m here. She told me where
y’all were, along with some other slurred things I couldn’t make out, but they
sounded mean as hell.”
    My best friend drunk-dialed my boyfriend,
who I am not speaking to at the moment? I’m irritated and the room is spinning,
but I need to find Joss. “Where is she?”
    “I saw her near the front and told her to
wait for me.” He grabs my clutch and reaches for my hand, which I impulsively pull
away. “Let’s go.”
    “Fine,” I answer tersely.
    I don’t let him put his arm around me. I
don’t let him hold my hand. In fact, I don’t let him walk behind me. I will not
give him the satisfaction of controlling this situation. I follow him out of
the bar and out to his car that’s parked in the side lot. I guess we’ll just
come back for Joss’ car tomorrow. My friend looks in too bad of shape for me to
be angry with her, so I quietly climb into the passenger side of his Jeep.
    The entire ride to Joss’ place, I stare
out the window and look at the buildings we pass along the way. I know I’m
drunk, but the gravity of what’s happening in our relationship has me sobering
up. I don’t bother to look at Ryan because either I will speak first and say
something stupid, or he won’t say anything at all. This is one fight I
don’t want to lose, but if I’m not receptive to a conversation, the only thing
I’m going to lose is the love of my life.
    We arrive in front of her building and
Ryan gets out to help her inside. Joss clambers out from behind me, and as she
turns to shut the door she gives me an apologetic smile that is easy for me to
return. I love my best friend, and although I don’t know what her motives for
calling him are, I know it wasn’t malicious.
    “Call you tomorrow,” I tell her as she
walks to the entrance of the building. She looks over her shoulder when she
gets to the door and offers a sloppy wave before shutting the door behind her.
Ryan gets in and starts off for home without another word.
    The ride home is silent except for the
ringing in my ears from the loud music in the club. I don’t feel the urge to
bother with conversation and I guess Ryan doesn’t either, because he turns up
the volume on the radio and never takes his eyes off the road. When we finally
get to our place, I just about bolt out of the Jeep and head to the entrance,
with my key in hand. I hear him behind me, but I increase my pace until I am at
the door. I push the key into the lock, open the door and toss my clutch onto
the counter before flinging the door shut. But it never shuts because Ryan
catches it before it has a chance.
    “Ryan.” I turn to face him to question
his presence, but I don’t get the chance as he grabs me and his lips land on
mine. My hands instinctively move around his neck as he continues to kiss me.
But as reality hits, I struggle in his grasp before I finally pull my face back
from his. “You need to go,” I plead as the room spins and I’m not sure if it’s
the kiss, or the numerous drinks I’ve downed. I’m breathless and not at all
sincere when I push him