Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice Read Online Free PDF Page B

the moral
courage to be able to point out to Master behaviors of
Master that concern the slave.
    • Someone who has experience serving others and
who demonstrates empathy and nurturing skills.
    • Someone who looks for the positives in every situation. This person can be described variously as "A
glass half-full person" or a "towards" person rather
than an "away-from" person. Let me explain this one.
In a general way, people tend either to reach towards
new experiences or to react by turning away from new
experiences. Some people embrace change, some
resist change. Often, you will find that an attorney
who is a litigator is a "towards" person, but a contracts
attorney is an "away-from" person. Similarly, accountants are often "away-from" people. In business,
"away-from" people are concerned about protecting
their client's interests or their own business position.
In business, "towards" people are often found to be
the visionary leaders. When you put two "away-from"
people together, they tend to avoid risk-taking and
- consequently - may not have many adventures.
When you put two "towards" people together, they may
engage in very exciting, but also very risky, behavior.
Which brings us to the next bullet:
    • Someone with well-defined boundaries; someone
who is clear about establishing boundaries. Combining
this idea with the previous bullet, you can imagine two
visionaries who are always out seeking new sensations and experiences, yet, who do this carefully and
with appropriate discretion. Similarly, you can imagine
two visionaries with poor boundary-setting skills that
are so far out there that it makes others uncomfortable
to be around them.

    • A person with wide-ranging skills in personal service, plus, what I call, courtesan skills. These are
skills of dressing well, music, dance, discourse, oral
recitation and conversation. Among the personal service skills, I would include high-level executive secretary skills, the ability to manage a small business, the
ability to represent Master in professional settings, and
so forth.
    Have you ever considered what you simply WON'T accept in
a partner?
    Topics in this arena are intended to be viewed in two ways:
first, as part of the screening process a Master or slave would
go through when considering a potential partner; and second, a
nudge to look at your OWN behavior - whether or not you are in
an established relationship.
    You may find it useful to think through areas in which personal
behavior would actually affect your willingness (or another's willingness) to start or to maintain an M/s relationship. I will skip the
really obvious character flaw issues (dishonest, untrustworthy,
etc.) and touch only on a few of the more subtle topics.
    • Personal habits: A bit too messy? Compulsively
clean? These are the little things that can wear on a
partner. For example, if you open a kitchen cabinet
and see things stuffed in there, do you care? What
about the orderliness of your closet - or your slave's
side of the closet? What about your underwear drawer
or your slave's bedside table?
    Here's a practical example from my life with my own
slave. When one walks into our bedroom, the power
cords for electrical apparatus are visible under my
slave's bedside table. Their appearance is an issue for
me. In my home, all visible electrical cords are laced,
rather than piled in an unsightly tangle. I required my
slave to lace the cords. But, requiring this is a two edged sword - which is why I use this example. On
the one hand, I have standards of neatness that simply
will be adhered to. On the other hand, my slave has
to be willing to put up with my level of detail. In this
case, I felt that my slave had enough "getting to know
you" time during our first year together to figure out
whether or not it would be possible to alter and adapt
her lifetime of habits to my lifetime of habits. You, as
Master, will have to make similar