Mascot Madness! Read Online Free PDF Page A

stood there, trying to make sense of the sight of a giant banana leading a group of students—as well as another teacher—ina mad, noisy conga-line stomp around the classroom.
    â€˜What in the deep blue sea is going on here?’ he finally spluttered.
    The conga line came to a halt.
    â€˜Good morning, Principal Greenbeard!’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Care to join us in a conga?’
    â€˜Most certainly not,’ said Principal Greenbeard. ‘This is a ship, not a bawdy house! And who—and what—the devil are you?’
    Mr Brainfright removed the head of his costume. ‘It’s me,’ he said.
    Principal Greenbeard blinked a few times. ‘Brainfright?’ he said.
    â€˜Yes! I’m the new Northwest Southeast Central School mascot!’
    â€˜I’ve sailed the seven seas for many years and seen and heard of many strange things,’ said Principal Greenbeard. ‘But I’ve never seen or heard of a banana mascot.’
    â€˜Of course not,’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘That’s why it’s going to be so effective! It will confuse Northwest West Academy no end.’
    Principal Greenbeard’s eyes lit up. ‘And a confused opponent is a weakened opponent!’
    â€˜Exactly!’ said Mr Brainfright. ‘Well, what do you think?’
    Principal Greenbeard stroked his chin.‘Hmmm,’ he said. ‘Perhaps you’re right, Brainfright. There’s no denying that Northwest Southeast Central is in the doldrums. We’ve been all at sea for a long time—maybe a banana mascot is just the thing the crew needs to cure their sporting scurvy!’

16
Return of Fred and Clive

    That lunchtime Gretel, Newton, Jenny, Jack and I were sitting in our usual spot in the shade beside the basketball court, discussing the events of the morning, when Fred and Clive appeared.
    â€˜Your teacher’s a freak,’ said Fred.
    â€˜No, he’s not,’ said Jack. ‘He’s a banana.’
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Fred. ‘My mistake. He’s a banana-shaped freak.’
    â€˜Good one, Fred,’ said Clive, slapping his brother on the back.
    â€˜If you think your teacher dressing up as a banana is going to help us beat Northwest West Academy, then you’re wrong,’ said Fred. ‘We haven’t got a hope and you know it.’
    â€˜At least he’s trying,’ said Gretel.
    â€˜He can try all he likes,’ said Fred, ‘but Northwest Southeast Central School will never beat Northwest West Academy. Not in a millionyears . . . and not even with a million banana mascots.’
    â€˜Hey, that’s a great idea,’ said Jack. ‘A million banana mascots! Imagine that!’
    â€˜You can imagine all the banana mascots you like, Japes,’ said Fred. ‘Imagine us winning while you’re at it. Because that’s the only place it’s ever going to happen: in your mind!’
    â€˜Why are you so negative?’ asked Jenny. ‘Don’t you want us to win?’
    â€˜Sure I do,’ said Fred, shrugging. ‘But we never will. It’s not just Northwest West Academy we’re up against—it’s The Boa.’
    â€˜Yeah, and you can’t beat The Boa,’ said Clive. ‘We’ve watched all his fights. My dad’s got the twenty-DVD set,
The Greatest Wrestlers Ever in the History of the Entire World
—and The Boa takes up nineteen of them. He’s a legend.’
    â€˜Yeah?’ said Jack. ‘Well, if he’s such a legend, then how come he was thrown out of the World Wrestling Federation?’
    Fred scowled and pointed at Jack angrily. ‘That was not his fault. It was a frame-up. He was attacked by the referee.’
    â€˜Oh, really? That’s not what I heard,’ said Jack.
    â€˜What did you hear?’ said Fred.
    â€˜That he started it,’ said Jack.
    â€˜Well, you heard wrong,’ said Fred. ‘And if