she straightened out and I was certain we were about to collide with the black cave wall. Only when we were upon it did I see the change in shadow. It was a tunnel, plummeting even deeper into the earth. Deeper wasn’t what I had in mind.
Caela couldn’t use her wings in here, but she had built up enough speed in the dive to carry us through the length of the tunnel. I noticed water building on the ground below us. It seemed shallow at first, but the longer we flew, the more there was. Eventually, she had no choice other than to fly directly into the water, which she seemed perfectly comfortable with. I was less enthusiastic about where we were headed. I had the swimming skills of a lead pipe, and wherever we were, I needed Caela’s help now more than ever before.
From the first moment we went completely under, the water pressed in on my lungs like a vise. Caela was moving so fast that I could see nothing other than bubbles and blurry images, and could think of nothing but how fond I’d always been of air. After only seconds underwater, I was already in trouble, but finally I saw a light above us. We were heading to the surface, and just in time.
When we finally broke through, I was so breathless I nearly let go, but with a wide lake below us, that would hardly be helpful. Now that we were in open air, Caela slowed in her flight. She skimmed the lake’s surface, letting one talon cut a line across the water.
I leaned my head against the back of her neck. “Thank you,” I breathed. “Thank you.”
Her gentle caw back at me wasn’t angry anymore. Either Caela had become mine, or I had become hers. I didn’t know why or how this had changed, or whether it would last. But for now, I didn’t need an answer. This single moment was enough.
We were crossing Lake Nemi, called Diana’s Mirror by most of the other miners. They had warned me never to look at it, and never to ask questions about Diana’s temple, which I easily spotted on the hills of the opposite shore. I couldn’t see why any of their warnings mattered. It was beautiful here, and the bulla glowed through the grip of my fingers. I took it as a sign from Diana that she approved.
As we flew back toward dry ground, I began to wonder again how much time had passed since I had first entered the cave, and what surely had happened since then. Radulf would’ve blamed Sal for the collapse of the cave entrance and probably punished him. In turn, Sal would punish the other miners for not making the entrance stronger. They’d report my death to Livia and then tell her not to mourn since she should’ve been expecting it.
Livia.
If it weren’t for her, I would have begged Caela to keep flying forever. To a place without mines or chains or whips. Somewhere I had any chance for a future. If such a place still existed in this world, I knew Caela could find it.
But I wouldn’t leave without Livia — I had promised that to my mother, and it was a promise I intended to defend with my life. Left alone at the mines, Livia would be swallowed whole.
I wrapped one hand around the bulla again and pressed it to my chest. My heart seemed to beat just to get closer to it. Or maybe it was still beating because I was close to it. This was no ordinary bulla. I understood that now, though I couldn’t figure out exactly what made it so different. Was it the reason I had survived when hit by that rock underground?
I had to return to the mines for Livia; there was no question of that. But if Radulf was still there, I would have to give him the bulla, and that infuriated me. I hated that Radulf would be able to take this from me. I hated that it would become his simply because he was a general and I was nothing.
Once I got back, I would give the bulla to Radulf, then beg him to fulfill his promise to take Livia and me to Rome. I would ignore what I had overheard of his threats to the empire, and pretend he hadn’t smiled when I told him I might not return from the cave. Even
Oliver Sacks, Оливер Сакс