and possibly kill anyoneâor bad, because my father apparently worried so little about me presenting a threat that he neglected to defend his base.
âYou look like you want to murder somebody,â Derek said.
âDonât I normally look that way?â
âNot like this.â
âItâs probably because I have one nerve left and my father keeps jumping up and down on it.â
I kept riding. Derek trotted next to me.
âCurran told me about the Conclave,â he said.
âMm-hm.â
âWhy does Nick hate you?â he asked.
âYou know the story about Voron and me? How after Roland killed my mother, Voron raised me?â
Derek nodded.
âWhenever we came through the Atlanta area, Greg Feldman would visit us. When I was older, I thought it was odd, because Greg was a knight-diviner and Voron steered clear of the Order whenever he could. I asked him about it once, and he told me that he, my mother, Greg, and Gregâs ex-wife, Anna, used to be friends. Then after Voron died, Greg became my guardian. Occasionally he would take me to Annaâs house. She didnât like me at first, but eventually she helped me. She is a precog. I used to wonder why I havenât heard from her for a while, but it makes sense now.â
âOkay,â Derek said. âHow does Nick fit into it?â
âYou remember when Hugh killed the knights in the Atlanta chapter of the Order, and Nick dropped his cover? Maxine called him Nick Feldman. When we got back to the Keep, I asked Jim to look into it. He did. Nick Feldman is Greg Feldmanâs son.â
Derek frowned. âYou didnât know he had a son?â
âNo. Greg took care of me for about ten years. Neither he nor Anna ever mentioned a child. There were no pictures and nobody ever said his name. So after Jim told me, I called Anna.â
It had taken four phone calls and a promise to come find her in her country home in North Carolina before she finally called back.
âI had always thought that Greg and Voron had been friends. I have a picture of the four of them, Greg and Anna and Voron and my mother, standing together. Apparently, all of that is bullshit. They knew each other, but they werenât friends. My mother had worked for the Order for a short time before marrying Roland. She met Greg, and Greg fell in love with her. He told Anna, but Nick was two years old and they decided to stay together for his sake. My mother and Greg reconnected again when she and Voron were running from Roland. At the time, I was a baby. Greg left Anna the day he found out my mother died. Nick was six.â
âI donât get it,â Derek said. âWhy leave when the other woman is dead?â
âI donât know. I have no idea what went on in Gregâs head. Maybe he thought he was betraying my motherâs memory somehow by staying with Anna.â
Thinking about it put all those meetings between Voron and Greg in a new light. They werenât two friends catching up. They were two men mourning the death of the same woman.
âHe and Anna shared custody, but when Nick was twelve, he applied to Squireâs Rest. Itâs the Orderâs preparatory boarding school, the place you go before the Academy makes you into a knight. Nick got in and they never saw him again. According to Anna, Nick hated both her and Greg. When he became part of the Crusader program, Greg was told to remove all traces of Nick, photos, documents, everything, for Nickâs safety and the safety of his family. Eventually Nick went undercover with Hugh for over two years. So my mother broke up his parentsâ marriage and my father was the reason he had to do despicable shit for two years. Iâm not his favorite person.â
âI get being mad at his parents and at your mother, but you were a baby.â
I sighed. âMaybe if I were the daughter of the other woman his father loved, or the child his dad took
Twelve Steps Toward Political Revelation