Loving His Forever Read Online Free PDF Page A

me, but I can’t. Tears stream down my face as the helplessness kicks into full gear. His evil face is in front of mine, sneering evilly as he enters me forcefully.
    I shoot up in bed, screaming at the top of my lungs as the memories of what happened to me crawl over my skin, making me feel dirty, impure. Vomit crawls up throat.
    My door flies open, and Ethan rushes in holding a gun, looking ready to kill. He searches the room before his eyes land on me. My body is shaking from the memories, and tears are running down my face. I loathe sleeping. Nightmares bring up things I want to bury.
    Ethan sets his gun on top of the dresser by the door. Gulping, I clutch the blanket in my hands. My breathing is erratic. He slowly walks over with his hands out in front of him and then sits on the bed a foot away from me. He lifts his hand up toward me a couple of times before setting it down onto my lap. I want him to hold me. I can’t believe I’m saying that. I want to feel safe again like I did before.
    Scooting forward a little, I lift my arms, letting him know what I want. Something flashes across his face, too quick for me to catch. He wraps both arms around me tightly, while my arms go around his waist. His hands run up and down my back gently, soothing me.
    My body melts into his. He lifts me up off the bed and moves me to the top, positioning me so my head is on his chest, one leg is over his, his arms are wrapped around me tightly, and my other arm rests across his belly.
    “Angel, I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispers. What can I say to this? We lie in silence as I fall back into a deep sleep.
    ~*~
    My room is filled with light as the sun shines in unforgivingly when I wake up the next morning. I move and notice something heavy lying on top of me. My eyes widen. I look up and see it’s Ethan. I relax back into bed.
    I rest my head back on the pillow. Ethan burrows his face deeper into my breasts and smacks his mouth.
    “Donker sticks,” he murmurs.
    Is he really talking in his sleep? Giggling, I wait to see if he says something else.
    “Mommy, I’m a good boys. Sweareth.” Then he starts giggling.
    I slap my hand over my mouth, trying no to laugh out loud at that one, but it’s too late. Ethan’s head shoots up groggily. He looks at me. Unable to hold in my laugh any longer, I laugh out loud with my head thrown back.
    “What are you laughing at?” he asks in amusement, his eyes bright.
    “You talk in your sleep,” I tell him between laughs.
    “I do?”
    I can hear the uneasiness in his voice.
    “You do.” I wipe the tears from under my eyes and look at Ethan, who has himself propped up on his elbows as he’s looking at me with a huge smile.
    He pushes himself up to his knees and slides off the side of the bed. He points over his shoulder with his thumb, “I’m going to go and make some breakfast.”
    Nodding my head, I watch his retreating back. I let out a deep breath and fall back onto the bed with a thump. I just slept in a bed with Ethan. I didn’t have any bad dreams either. What could this mean? Shaking my head, I throw back the covers and walk over to the corner of the room where my bag is sitting.
    I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Sunken in cheeks, lips too big for my face, large blue Bambi eyes. I lift my shirt to look at my belly; my ribs poke out sickly and my belly is sunken in. Disgusted with myself, I let my shirt fall back around me.
    I look deep into my eyes. Why did you let something like this happen to you, Braelyn? How could you have been so weak? Shame flows through me. I destroyed everything I ever worked for. I hate myself, but I also know in this moment I can’t allow the shitty hand I’ve been dealt dictate my life anymore; it’s time for me to live again.
    I grab some skinny jeans Sydney gave me out of the bag and slip them on. They’re loose around the legs and waist. The only thing holding them up is my butt, it seems; the only thing I didn’t