Loving His Forever Read Online Free PDF

lose. I slip a tank and a V-neck shirt over my head. The shirt clings to my breasts and flows around my belly.
    I see Sydney also packed a small bag of makeup; I look inside and grab some mascara and eyeliner. I apply the eyeliner with shaky hands to the top and bottom of my eyelids. Twisting the top off the mascara, I put on a couple coats just enough to make my eyes pop, not make me look skanky. Then I find the comb and brush my wavy hair, then flip my head over, giving myself some extra volume.
    Stepping back, I admire myself. I look nice; well, I think so, considering what I used to look like. I smile to myself, feeling somewhat like my old self. Cleaning up has never felt so good in my whole entire life. I needed this; I needed to feel human.
    Bagging everything back up, I set the bag back in the corner of my room before I head downstairs. As I make it down to the bottom, I start to feel nervous. What am I doing, dressing like this? What if he gets the wrong idea? Stupid, stupid, stupid, Braelyn. I’m not showing any skin, but I feel exposed more than I have in years. I can feel the leering gaze of men who want to do horrible things to me.
    Panic shoots through me like a rocket, overpowering me to the point where all the oxygen leaves my body. I can’t breathe! Grabbing my throat, I fall to the floor as I feel the hands of the man who hurt me moving all over my body, taking what isn’t his. A loud bang comes from beside me as I lean back onto something. Black spots cloud my vision.
    “Braelyn. Shhhh. I got you, baby, please come back to me,” a voice begs.
    My hands fall down to the floor limply as I stare blankly. My head rolls to the side as my eyes roll into the back of my head.
    “Braelyn! It’s Ethan. You’re safe.” The voice soothes me, even though I can hear the panic in the depths of it.
    I turn to the voice and look at a familiar pair of green eyes. “That’s it, baby, breathe.” A hand trails down my face. I’m safe.
    “Ethan?” I whisper as the daze I was in starts to fade away.
    “Yes, Angel. It’s me.” He wraps his arms around me tightly and lifts me off the cold floor. My head goes to his chest as he holds me to him. Safe. Closing my eyes, I bask in his touch. My hands twist in his shirt, holding him to me as tightly as I possibly can.
    Embarrassment washes over me. I’ve made a fool of myself. Getting dressed up makes me feel better but will not heal the horrible scars on my fractured soul. All anyone sees when they look at me is weakness. I want to be strong; strong where nothing can bother me again.
    I put my hands on his chest and push myself back from him as far as his arms will allow. “I’m so sorry, Ethan. I’ll pack my bags.” My voice hitches when I say bags, because those clothes aren’t mine. I have nothing. Nothing to my name, nothing that I cherish, nothing that tells I even live in this effed up world.
    His arms tighten around me at my words. “No!” he growls, his body stiff as a board, his arms locking around me so tightly I can’t move.
    “Why...” I trail off and raise my head to look up at him. I’m confused. Why would he want me to stay? I’m a burden that’s leeching off both him and Sydney. Sydney is my family; I understand her helping me. But this man? I don’t get it one bit. He comforts me when he doesn’t even know me.
    He lets out a deep breath and relaxes his hold slightly. “Braelyn, you deserve so much more than the life you have been dealt. I see you. I see a strong-ass woman who has fought as hard as she can. I can see the fire in your eyes still in the depths, wanting to come out. What happened to you doesn’t define who you are. You can’t control what’s happened to you, no matter how much we want to.”
    “Ethan,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears at his words. Not knowing what to say, I lay my head back onto his warm chest.

Chapter Five
    Braelyn
     
     
    A week has passed since the day I had that panic attack on the living