Love's Little Instruction Book Read Online Free PDF Page B

asked, mystified.
    There was a long pause before Kirk said, “That love is a drug?”
    Dave considered that for a long moment, then nodded. “Okay … yeah.”
    “What else can we tell just from the covers?” Kirk asked.
    There was another pause, then Ghoulie said, “That the women couldn’t keep their dresses fastened any better than the men could keep their shirts on.”
    Dave ran a questing hand through his hair. “How is this supposed to help me with Denise?” he asked impatiently.
    “Damned if I know,” Ghoulie replied with a cheerful shrug.
    “Okay,” Kirk said. “Let’s look at the men on the covers, then. What’s Dave got in common with them?”
    A moment of embarrassed meditational silence followed. Dave shifted uncomfortably and tried to discreetly suck his stomach in.
    “Well,” said Ghoulie at long last, “they all want women.”
    Dave closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn’t help it.
    “Maybe we’re going about this all wrong,” Kirk decided finally, “Let’s look at how Dave’s different from the guys on the covers.”
    Oh God!
    “Dave has short hair,” Ghoulie announced. It was true that all of the men on the covers had hair down to their collars or beyond.
    “And curls,” Kirk added. The cover models all sported ’dos of the straight and windblown variety.
    “Dave has chest hair,” Ghoulie volunteered. Their eyes lingered on the buff and barren pectorals displayed so proudly before them.
    “He does?” Kirk asked.
    Ghoulie nodded. “Just a little, though.”
    “Ghouls — ” Dave cut in warningly.
    “No, no,” Ghoulie insisted. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it? A sign of manliness?”
    Dave ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Okay, let’s just forget about the covers for a minute here, guys. Let’s just assume that I have absolutely nothing in common with these horny, muscle bound, bald-chested, long haired contortionists and take a look at what’s actually in the books, okay? We’re not going to learn anything just by looking at the pictures. This isn’t kindergarten, we’re all going to have to actually open the books and read them. How about we each pick one book, take it home and we can compare notes next Saturday?”
    Ghoulie shrugged. “Works for me.”
    Dave turned his eyes on Kirk. “Okay.”
    There was a long moment of silence as they all stared down at the books laid out on the tables. “Okay, pick your books.”
    No one moved.
    “Come on, you guys. Either pick a book or I’m going to grab one and assign it to you!”
    Ghoulie drew in a deep, bracing breath and then nodded. “Okay.” He picked up Desperado . The cover featured a sun bronzed cowboy who glared out at them from underneath the brim of his hat, hands poised to draw his gun from its holster, and no sign of a shirt beneath his vest. “I always kind of liked Western movies,” he said by way of explanation.
    Dave looked over at Kirk. “You next.”
    “Nuh-uh! This is your project. You pick next!”
    Dave recognized the challenge in Kirk’s voice and he accepted it. Holding Kirk’s eyes the whole way, he reached down without looking and felt his hand grasp the cover of a book. Only after he had picked it up did he look at the cover. Flowers and fans on a pink background. Forever My Love . It could have been worse. He looked up at Kirk and arched an eyebrow.
    Holding Dave’s gaze, Kirk reached down and came up with his own book. A lithe blond being bent over backwards across a long haired knight’s knee. Forbidden Love . “Oh, fuck,” Kirk muttered, half under his breath.
    Smiling a wicked smile, Dave reached over to pat his friend on the back. “Don’t worry about it, Kirk,” he said, grinning. “They probably will.”
    • • •
    Presley’s chicken earrings rocked merrily as she gestured across the café table top at Denise, holding a ketchup drizzled French fry for emphasis. “You should start dating,” Presley pronounced.
    Denise calmly finished chewing a