Love Starved Read Online Free PDF

say if they knew how easily he justified wasting more than a thousand dollars, just like that? Even disregarding what he was wasting it on, they would probably be appalled.
    His parents had never been wealthy. They hadn’t been poor, but they’d worked hard every day of their lives so that Micah and Claudia never lacked for the necessities. Micah remembered Christmases when they all limited themselves to one little gift each because business at his father’s store had been slow, and discussions about the priority of their college funds over everyday pleasures. The kids had been taught early about managing a budget, saving for things they wanted and finding cheaper or free alternatives for many expenses. The family’s only luxury when they were growing up had been a beautiful old cabin on Lake Superior that Micah’s mom had inherited from her parents and where they spent every summer.
    Wastefulness was not something Mr. and Mrs. Geller would approve of.
    Micah didn’t approve of it himself, either. He never wanted to turn into one of those people who just threw away money because they didn’t care, and now he thought that was where he was headed. And it wasn’t even so much about buying the… service. If he’d bought a TV on a whim and then decided it was a mistake, he wouldn’t throw it away, would he? He would try to return it and, if that was not an option, he would rather give it away than put it in the trash. Neither seemed like a valid possibility when it came to what he’d just paid for, but maybe he needed to treat this like a lesson, suffer through the consequences of his foolishness.
    Once in the garage, Micah turned off the car and sat there for a moment, staring through the windshield at the gray wall. Fine. He would do it. He’d meet the guy, go to dinner with him and do whatever else was on the menu, if it was bearable. And then he would return home, probably get drunk in an attempt to wipe the memory of the evening clean and never ever think about it again.
    He had two days to steel himself for it. That had to suffice.
    Damn Daphne and her ideas.
    Thoughts about his Monday “date” didn’t leave Micah’s mind as he moved through the rest of his weekend, distracting him with incessant questions and fears.
    What if he’s completely not my type? —he wondered as he was tackling his long-neglected laundry. Angel couldn’t be unattractive, not if Daphne vouched for his good looks, but Micah knew what image porn stars usually aspired to. Not that Angel was a porn star, per se. Micah didn’t think so, at least.
    Wait—what if Angel was a porn star and someone recognized him while they were out?
    Worse —Micah thought morosely as he cooked eggplant Bolognese for dinner on Sunday— what if we have nothing to talk about? Angel might be shallow and boring, trying to buy Micah’s approval with clichés and generic pleasantries. He was usually paid to be a lover, not a conversationalist, after all—he’d said so himself. Being stuck at a restaurant table with awkward silence ringing in his ears was something Micah never wanted to endure again.
    Worst —Angel probably had some expectations about how this evening was supposed to go. Sure, he’d asked Micah if he wanted to get intimate during their “date,” but sex was Angel’s job, wasn’t it? He would likely want to get them there one way or another, to the territory that must be easy and familiar for him, his everyday bread and butter. Micah had no intention to even touch him, but saying no clearly and unapologetically had always been his problem. He hated thinking he might offend people or hurt their feelings, so he would probably freeze if Angel attempted to initiate anything, trying to wait it out and hoping that the guy would be perceptive enough to notice and back off.
    Yes, all in all, that sounded like a perfect date scenario.
    When Micah went to bed on Sunday, the date loomed more like a dreaded dentists’ appointment than a fantasy.