Regret Read Online Free PDF Page A

contact. The atmosphere in the room shifted from passive to high-alert, but no one shot me dirty looks.
    “I need hoverboards. Anyone who has the resources to borrow or purchase the boards, please let me know.” I fought the urge to clear my throat. I didn’t want to give the impression of nervousness. Or weakness. “I will be available in the kitchen for volunteers and questions.”
    I half expected to sit at Jag’s kitchen table by my sad self, sipping a lukewarm bottle of water while the Resistance members gossiped about me in hushed tones in the living room.
    By the time I’d pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and sat down, the line stretched down the hall and snaked through the living room.

six weeks later
    4.
    A vibration jolted me out of the weak sleep I’d managed to find. I’d been getting an average of four hours each night. I’d slept at Jag’s house, at Sloan’s, at Lex’s—wherever I happened to be when the exhaustion took over.
    Tonight I’d made it home before collapsing into my own bed. I sat up, listening hard. Maybe the sound had come from the kitchen. Couldn’t be from Irv’s room. He hadn’t come home yet. There’d been no word from anyone on the infiltration team.
    Meanwhile, I’d been busy gathering hoverboards and sending my people to the cities listed in the notebook. I’d been taking reports and writing down every detail of every mission. I’d been analyzing my notes and comparing them to Jag’s, trying to make sense of things I didn’t understand.
    I’d learned that the Resistance existed on a Union-wide scale. Jag hadn’t been the beginning of the movement; he was just the most passionate leader we’d had in a long time. The most driven. I’d learned that my contacts in the other cities were waiting for Jag to give them the go-ahead.
    The go-ahead for what, I didn’t know. I hadn’t been to Freedom yet, and though a name was listed (Starr Messenger), I didn’t dare send someone to the capital of the Association without more concrete information.
    I got up and looked out the window, hearing nothing and feeling as empty as the house had felt since Irvine hadn’t come home. I used the sadness to fortify myself, make the walls around my heart stronger. My reflection in the glass showed a fierce person I didn’t recognize. I would’ve never known she missed her brother. She didn’t broadcast her longing to feel Jag Barque’s arms around her. Her eyes gave no indication that she had no idea what she was doing leading a Union-wide effort against a genetically talented government.
    I congratulated myself and went back to bed.
    A male voice distracted me from my phone. The way the person had spoken with inflection and desire wasn’t lost on me. I knew that voice… .
    Sloan squealed and launched herself at none other thanJag Barque while I watched. I fortified the weakening walls around my heart, using the jealousy burning through me as best as I could. I’d gotten good at keeping everyone out too. I’d learned real fast not to let the tears of a mother sway my decisions. And the pleading of a twelve-year-old who wanted to fly to White Cliffs alone now fell on deaf ears.
    The barriers I’d placed between myself and everyone else quivered, but held, as I analyzed the guy I’d thought about every stinkin’ day since I’d last seen him. He looked semirested and showered. He’d had time to shave, and his hair stuck up in precise angles, just as I’d expect if he were picking me up for dinner.
    Jag spun Sloan around while she squealed with joy. Another girl hovered nearby, clearly with Jag. I wondered how together they were. Another one of his refugees from the Goodgrounds? Just friends? Or something more?
    The way the sunburned girl twisted her hands, I guessed she was all three, which only added betrayal to the envy inside. And anger and hurt. I hated that I couldn’t just let my relief at seeing Jag wash over me. I took a deep breath as he set Sloan down,