Love & Loss Read Online Free PDF Page B

He deserves that, he’s really sweet and we’re still going to be seeing him if Gabe and I work things out.’
    ‘ If Gabe and you work things out?’
    ‘It’s not a foregone conclusion. I’d love to work it out with him, but it’s so complicated. I don’t know how long he needs to recover or if I’ll make him worse.’
    ‘You didn’t see him on Monday Mia, I don’t think he could get any worse.’
    ‘Thanks, that’s not exactly making me feel better about all of this. Besides we were talking about you and Doug, not me and Gabe.’
    ‘Don’t you wonder if it would have been easier if we’d just stayed as we were? Me fucking around and you staying single?’ she asked with a heavy sigh.
    ‘I don’t know Lex. When it’s good with Gabe, it’s really amazing, I can’t imagine ever being more happy, but when it’s bad …’ I shook my head and sighed. ‘I’ve never experienced feeling so awful before either, so I guess you just have to weigh up if the good times outweigh the bad. Isn’t that better than plodding along feeling nothing for anyone?’
    ‘I don’t know, I was doing ok,’ she shrugged. ‘At least I was having penetrative orgasms.’
    ‘You can have those with a vibrator Lex, but that doesn’t give you someone to have fun with, or share things with, or to hug you when you’re down.’
    ‘I have you for that,’ she smiled.
    ‘Well yes that’s true and we are going to do some of the fun tonight. I plan on getting wasted to take my mind off all this crap.’
    ‘Dressing up?’
    ‘No, jeans and a jumper. We’re only hitting the student bar and playing pool so I don’t want to waste valuable drinking time coming home to get changed. Right come on, I need to start on that assignment for English if I don’t want another pep talk from Jenkins. Just remember that you can always talk to me Lex, no matter what’s going on with me.’
    ‘Thanks.’ She gave me a grateful smile and I got up and cleared up the bags and wrappers and we settled into some study for a couple of hours until it was time to go. I went and changed and put on my new Emu boots and coat and Lexi appeared in her ripped jeans, white t-shirt, biker boots and jacket.
    ‘Loving the coat and boots,’ she exclaimed.
    ‘Thanks, Gabe spent way too much on me in the Emu store.’
    ‘Lucky cow.’
    ‘I’d rather have no gifts and just have an easy time with him. Do you think all relationships are as difficult as ours are? Or is it just us? Are we the problem?’
    ‘Who knows, but I reckon a skin full of cheap beer will make us both feel a lot better about everything and at least you’ll be toasty warm.’
    ‘I will,’ I smiled as I belted my coat and was hit with a visual of wearing it out the back of the club in Edinburgh as Gabe was furiously fucking me up against the wall. God I missed him so much, sex too.
    ‘I didn’t know Emu’s were woolly,’ Lex frowned as she ran her hand over my coat.
    ‘What?’
    ‘Well how many parts do they have? You have a woolly coat and suede boots. I thought Emu’s had feathers.’
    ‘What are you going on about?’
    ‘I don’t get how you can make all these different textures out of an Emu.’
    ‘Please tell me you’re joking?’ I giggled.
    ‘What’s so funny?’
    ‘They don’t make all the stuff they sell out of Emu’s Lexi, it’s just a name for the brand of clothing and accessories.’
    ‘It is?’ She looked at me surprised.
    ‘Yes,’ I nodded as I wiped a tear of laughter from my eye. ‘Please tell me that  you haven’t tried to find out what type of creature an Ugg is?’
    ‘Don’t be so stupid,’ she muttered as her cheeks went bright pink. I screeched with laughter and had to hold onto the hall table. ‘O Lex, I do love you, you’re so funny.’
    ‘O sod off you,’ she chuckled. We headed down to the bus and I sat staring out of the window wondering what Gabe was doing and if he was ok.
    I was distracted all through English and kept staring at