Lost in Love Read Online Free PDF

things turned out this way.”
    â€œHe was cheating with me the whole time,” I say miserably. “I was the other woman. But I swear it felt like we were meant to be together.” How can I explain the epic love I thought we had? How can I make her understand how it felt to be with him? To touch him? To kiss him? “What if I never find that kind of love again?”
    â€œYou will,” Brooke insists. “You’re the most positive person I know. You’ll get back to your optimistic place. And it will be even better next time because the person you’re meant to be with won’t be married.”
    I really want to believe Brooke. I want to believe that time will heal. That one day I’ll be over this. But there are some things you just never get over. Brooke doesn’t know about my sister. Maybe she wouldn’t think I’m so positive if she knew about the loss and fear under my optimism.I feel like a fraud. Brooke thinks she knows me. But she only knows the shiny happy parts of me. The bright parts I show the world while I hide the darkness.
    â€œI just feel so unhinged,” I say. “It’s hard to explain. It’s like . . . I can’t trust anyone the way I thought I could. Like I can’t even trust reality as I know it. Because what do I really know? Nothing is guaranteed. Bad things happen to good people. Anything can fall apart when you least expect it.”
    â€œBut there’s the Knowing. Sometimes deep down you do know.”
    The Knowing is what Brooke calls this feeling of absolute certainty she sometimes has. The Knowing is rare, but when it happens, Brooke never questions it. It’s a gut instinct guiding her with unshakable clarity. Even when the Knowing sounds crazy, about something that seems totally illogical or impossible, it is always right.
    I had the Knowing about Austin. I knew he was my soul mate. And the scary truth? Even after everything that happened . . . I still do. If we had met another time when we were both available, we would be together. The timing wasn’t right for us. And the lying wasn’t right for me.
    But it doesn’t matter. There’s no way I can forgive him.
    My eternal optimist side still knows that following my heart is the right thing to do. That’s how I will eventually end up where I belong with the person I’m meant to be with. Brooke wouldn’t even be here if she hadn’t followedher heart. She moved here senior year even though that meant she’d have to live with her dad. She had a Knowing it was the right thing for her. Coming to New York has shown her so many possibilities. Possibilities she never even imagined before she moved here.
    Brooke’s story gives me hope. Just being with her is helping me start to heal. It will be a long time until I feel like myself again. But right now, my best friend is helping me find my way home.

FIVE
DARCY
    THERE’S THE POSSIBILITY THAT I might have figured out what to say to Jude. There’s also the possibility that he will hate me forever once I say it.
    Things could go either way.
    I swing by Jude’s spot in Washington Square Park after my last class. He’s performing a magic trick with big bubbles. Could the boy be any cuter?
    The last time I saw Jude was Saturday night. I couldn’t wait for him to come over. Words I needed to say to him were boiling inside of me. My lid was about to pop any second. When the door buzzed, I ran down the stairs instead of buzzing him in. That’s how excited I was to see him. I couldn’t even wait for him to climb the freaking stairs. But it wasn’t Jude at the door. It was Logan, saying all the things I’d been wanting to hear since I left home.
    Logan was telling me that he wanted me back when Jude came around the corner. Logan was totally focused on me. He didn’t see Jude until Jude was climbing the steps with a big smile. His smile faltered when Logan turned