Lost at School Read Online Free PDF

so impulsive that even if they can think of more than one solution,they’ve already done the first thing that popped into their heads. The bad news? Our first solution is often (not always, but often) our worst. Good solutions usually come to mind after we’ve inhibited our less optimal initial impulses and considered our better options in a more organized fashion. Many kids—often the disorganized, impulsive ones—are notorious for putting their “worst foot forward.” In other words, there are many kids who are responding to life’s challenges in a maladaptive fashion because they aren’t very skilled at organizing their thoughts, thinking of alternative solutions, or anticipating likely outcomes.
    Approaching problems in an organized, planful manner, considering a variety of solutions, and reflecting on their likely outcomes are crucial developmental skills. Most two-year-olds don’t yet possess these skills. Neither do a lot of challenging kids who—chronologically, at least—are a lot older.
    Clearly, these kids need our help! But if the school discipline program emphasizes consequences, they’re not going to get the help they need. Again, consequences only remind kids of what we don’t want them to do, and give them the incentive to do something more adaptive instead. But they already know what we don’t want them to do, and they’re already motivated to do something more adaptive instead. They need something else from us.
    By the way, a lot of kids who are disorganized and impulsive are diagnosed with ADHD. But whether a kid meets criteria for ADHD isn’t the important part. Knowing that he is a disorganized, impulsive problem-solver gives you a much clearer understanding of his difficulties and provides more useful information about what kind of help he needs from you.
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IN FOCUS
Difficulty expressing concerns, needs, or thoughts in words
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    Much of our daily lives involve language and communication skills, so it’s no accident that kids who are lacking such skills have trouble handling the social, emotional, and behavioral demands that are placed upon them. For example, many kids have trouble findingthe words to tell someone what’s the matter or what they need. If you don’t have the wherewithal to let people know that you “don’t feel like talking,” that “something’s the matter,” that you “need a minute to think,” that you “don’t know what to do,” that you “need a break,” or that you “don’t like that,” then you may express these things in ways that are far less ideal. The reminder “Use your words” won’t help at all if a kid doesn’t have the words. Some kids cry or become withdrawn when they don’t have the skills to communicate effectively. Other kids make their thoughts or feelings or needs known with “Screw you,” “I hate you,” “Shut up,” and other more colorful expressions (that’s right, disrespect is just a sign that a kid is lacking important skills…. if the kid could communicate in a more respectful way, he would). And still others express themselves physically (shoving, hitting, throwing things, destroying property, running out of the classroom).
    Regrettably, language-processing and communication-skills difficulties are frequently overlooked. Adults often don’t think to assess these skills when they’re trying to figure out why a challenging kid is challenging. And sometimes the testing instrumentation used when these skills are being assessed doesn’t pick up on finer-grained lagging skills that may be involved; in such cases, the test results may not only fail to pinpoint the kid’s difficulties, but also erroneously conclude that the kid has no language-processing or communication difficulties at all.
    Can kids be taught to articulate their concerns, needs, and thoughts more effectively? Absolutely. But not until adults understand that it’s the lack of these skills that is setting the stage for challenging