Lord of the Silent: A Novel of Suspense
with no one to see and no one to stop you? You're too damned decent even to gloat over a fallen enemy." "You make me sound like the most ghastly prig," Ramses muttered. He could feel his taut muscles relaxing, though. Maybe she was right. As she frequently reminded him, she knew him better than he knew himself. Nefret leaned over him and took his face between her hands. "You do have a few faults." "Thank you. That makes me feel a great deal better." "And one of them," said Nefret, turning her head as he raised his, so that his lips came to rest on her cheek instead of her mouth, "is being too hard on yourself. Don't do that, I haven't finished." He took her by the shoulders and pulled her down till she was lying across him. She was laughing or crying-he couldn't tell which, he only felt the tremors that shook her body. "Sweetheart, don't cry. What's the matter?" She raised herself, planting her elbows painfully on his chest. Two tears, one from each eye, slid with exquisite slowness over the curve of her cheeks. "I didn't mean to," she said with a gulp. "I was determined not to. But I'm too frightened to play fair. Promise me-" "Anything, my dearest. What are you afraid of?" "You! Promise me you won't give in to Smith and Salisbury and the rest of them." "You heard me refuse. I hated the whole bloody business, Nefret-the deceit and the lies, the betrayal of people who trusted me, the worry I caused Mother and Father. You can't suppose I'd do it again." She shook her head vehemently. "I know you too well, Ramses. If they convinced you that there was a job only you could do, and that innocent people would be injured or killed if you didn't do it, you'd agree. I won't let you. I couldn't stand it. Not now, when we've only had a few months together. Swear to me-" "Please don't cry," Ramses said desperately. "I can't stand that. I'll swear by anything you like." "Thank you." She brushed a last tear from her face and leaned closer. "Have you ever wondered why I'm so desperately in love with you? Not because you're tall and handsome and-ooh." She let out a breathless giggle as his wandering hands settled into place. "Well, that has a little something to do with it. Darling, I know I can't keep you safe and out of trouble. I love your courage and your strength and your maddening habit of taking unnecessary risks, and the way you champion the underdog. All I'm asking is the right to share the danger. If you won't let me fight for you as you would for me-" The sentence ended in a gasp of expelled breath as he caught her to him. "Do you have the faintest idea how much I love you?" "Tell me. Show me."
    The air raid had been an enlightening experience. It was by no means the first of the war-there had been a number of attacks, on London and various towns on the east coast-but it was the first for me, and it had reminded me of a truth I knew well, but sometimes forgot: that perfect safety is not to be found in this imperfect world and that facing danger is sometimes less dangerous than trying to avoid it. Or, to put it as Emerson did: God has a peculiar sense of humor. It would be just like Him to drop a bomb on our house in Kent after we had decided to avoid the perils of travel by sea. The incident had not changed my opinion about Sennia's coming with us, however. After the earlier raids, Evelyn had suggested we send her to them in Yorkshire, and this seemed to me the most sensible solution. I feared Sennia would not see it in that light. Since I am not in the habit of postponing unpleasant duties, I decided to speak to her next morning. Sennia was in the day nursery, so busy with some private game that she did not hear me approach. I stood in the doorway watching for a while. The room was cheery and bright; toys and books filled the shelves, pretty rugs covered the floors, and a fire burned on the hearth. The day was not cold, but Basima, Sennia's Egyptian nursemaid, found our English weather chilly. There was even a cat stretched out on
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