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jaw, the clenchedteeth, all the pain of coming down explodes out of my body through my dick. Out in the drops of come falling on my chest, on the sheets. I don’t move for five minutes, ten minutes, half-an-hour, let it dry in white crystal patterns across my naked body. Enjoy the release; then get up, take a piss, snatch one or two or three of Dad’s Valiums and fall slowly asleep.
    I’m walking down Lennox Street, the Pelaco sign burning into my eyes. I feel so high that I feel I can touch that sign. No boredom, just exhilaration.

My perfect tape, the tape I listen to the most, is two years old. A collection culled from my records, Peter’s records, friends’ records. Side A: I Want You Back , Jackson 5; Lost in Music , Sister Sledge; Little Red Corvette , Prince; I Got You , Split Enz; Everything She Wants , Wham; Broken English , Marianne Faithfull; Gimme Shelter , Rolling Stones; Funkin’ for Jamaica , Tom Brown; Cloudy Sunday , Sotiria Bellou. Side B: Living for the City , Stevie Wonder; Temptation , Heaven 17; Walk Away Renée , Four Tops; Going Back to Cali , L.L. Cool J; Legs , ZZ Top; Man in Uniform , Gang of Four; Walk This Way , Run DMC; Like a Prayer , Madonna; The Road , Manos Loizos. Not necessarily my favourite songs, not a tape I planned. A tape I put together over several days. But it has become my soundtrack to happiness. A soundtrack that goes nicely with speed, with summer.

Little sister, don’t you do what your big brother done. When I get home Dad has gone to the coffee shop, Mum is talking to her sister on the phone and Alex is dancing to ElvisPresley in the lounge room. I move around her a little, then lift her up high till she can touch the ceiling and give her a big kiss on the cheek. She looks right into my eyes and grins. Brother flying high, is he? I nod and she continues dancing. I wait till the song playing has finished and then put the needle onto ‘Little Egypt’. I sit on the couch and watch Alex dance to the song through half-closed eyes. This is my favourite Presley song.
    Mum comes into the room. I can remember when this song came out, she says, sounding like she is bragging. As if I care. If she had written the song, or performed it, that would be a different matter. She joins my sister in the dance and I start giggling uncontrollably. They both dance well, gyrating their hips and waving their arms, doing a tsiftiteli . I’m going to have a shower, I say, and grab a towel and my radio from my room.
    The hot water on my body gives the speed high a second rush and I sing along to whatever song comes on the radio. When I’m finished washing I brush my teeth in the shower and piss into the drain. My cock is shrivelled. I try to get a hard-on but I’m too high. Instead I do some push-ups and sit-ups in the bathroom. When I’m finished I look at my naked body in the mirror. I’m in alright shape, my legs are good, but I could do with some tightening up around the stomach. I do a few more sit-ups then brush my hair back with some coconut oil. The speed flushes through my body in another wave and in the mirror my eyes shine, my lips tremble.
    I lie on the bed in my room and smoke a cigarette listening to soul on the radio. I put the volume up loud to drown out Alex’s music in the lounge. I can’t lie down for long and jump up and try on two or three T-shirts for the night out. I end up choosing a plain white T-shirt, put on some jeans. I keep putting on and taking off a black vest, looking at myself in the mirror from every angle to see what I look like. Side on I prefer the T-shirt without the vest.Front on the vest looks good on me. I end up taking off the vest and putting a badge over my right tit. Felix the Cat. A seventies disco number by Aretha Franklin comes on the radio and I turn it up as loud as I can without distortion. Mum bangs on the door and tells me to turn it down. I peek out my door and ask her if she feels