Live Through This
those Saw movies that I pissed my pants. In the theater.”
    “Gross, Noah.”
    “The good news is that I can help you. Do you want to know how?”
    I do, but I don’t want to flat-out admit that he’s right in thinking that I still have nightmares even though I’m almost sixteen. “You want to tell me how you recovered from the disgustingness of peeing yourself in public?”
    “There’s no getting over that,” he says. “But getting over the patheticness of being afraid was easy. I just decided not to let it get to me anymore. I reminded myself that the actors wereplaying roles and that lots of people were working behind the scenes. You know, special effects and makeup and music and everything. Everyone involved in creating those movies was trying to scare me and I refused to give them the satisfaction.”
    I manage a small smile. “You sure showed them.”
    “ Yeah , I did. And you can too!”
    He raises his arm and we high-five. I let my hand drop on top of my sleeping bag, and he takes it in his. It isn’t in any way romantic. It truly never has been, even though Noah and I have gone to all of the school dances together since we were twelve, and he seems totally fine with everyone at school thinking that we’re together.
    I’ve secretly been suspicious for a long time that there isn’t any girl in the world who will ever have a chance with him. I saw some pictures on his computer last year of guys kissing and stuff. Add to that the fact that Kimber snuck into his room and tried to make out with him two weeks ago, and he—according to Ming—walked out and slept in the garage, and it proves to me that I’m right.
    “By the way,” Noah says, letting my hand go and leaning against the couch. “Reece Kinsey’s still trying to make me hate you. He was talking about you in pre-calc. The. Whole. Fricken. Class period.”
    I feel myself blushing. I kind of wish that Reece wouldn’ttalk about me. And yet . . . I kind of like that he does.
    Noah goes on. “Last week, I had to listen to him complain for days about his mom and dad being cock blockers about your ski trip. I told him to just kill the visiting grandparents and solve his problem for good. It didn’t go over well, though.”
    “No?”
    “No. It seems that his sense of humor is broken, at least in regards to the Amazing Coley Sterling. He worships you. I’m not even kidding.”
    And now I’m back to wishing Reece wouldn’t discuss me—at least not with Noah. “I don’t want to be worshipped.”
    “Then Reece isn’t the guy for you.”
    His words hit me harder than they should, but I try not to show it.
    Noah lifts the bottle. “Truth, dare, or drink?”
    “Oh, you know me,” I say, with a wave. “I’m not the daring type and I totally hate telling the truth.”
    He nods. “I hear you. Drink it is then.”
    I glance over my shoulder. “Piper will get mad at me, you know. More mad, I should say.”
    Noah doesn’t look surprised or ask me what happened, which makes me wonder if he already knows.
    He and Alejandra were never close, but they were both my friends, so they hung out sometimes. In the weeks afterAlejandra and I stopped speaking, Noah tried to get information out of me, but I made it clear that I wasn’t going to talk about it. He stopped trying.
    “Do we really care that my sister’s a”—Noah makes an imaginary box in the air in front of him—“square?”
    Honestly, I care a lot, but right now I want Noah to stay with me more. I motion like I’m drawing a cartoon speech bubble out of my mouth and over my head. “Insert more weak protests here.”
    And then we drink.

CHAPTER 5
    I t’s almost midnight two nights later and Ming and I are perched in the dark on her bedroom windowsill, preparing to make our escape.
    “You first?” she asks.
    “No, you .” I move aside. “Show me how it’s done.”
    It isn’t an incredibly long way down—Ming’s room is on the ground floor—but there are tons of bushes
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