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started razzing it up. It would be worth organising a conference with them in chambers just to see the reaction of a few of the more staid of the tenants.
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    Thursday 25 October 2007
    Year 2 (week 4): Snakes and ladders
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    The new pupils were all standing neatly in a row at chambers tea today. OldSmoothie was the first to comment.
    â€˜Look at you. All unformed. Still finding your place in the world. One minute you’ll be buzzing around feeling like a drone and the next you’ll be absolutely full of your own cleverness as you get to help on some big case or other.’
    â€˜Oh but don’t they look so cute,’ whispered TheVamp eyeing up the two male pupils. ‘All fresh-faced, clean-cut and so deliciously corruptible.’
    Then, I think without realising, she actually licked her lips.
    â€˜Must be about time for the annual snakes and ladders speech,’ said TheBusker, referring to the talk the pupils always get about their status now being at the very bottom of the pile just like that of new judges.
    â€˜That’s all it is really, isn’t it?’ said UpTights, looking a little madder than usual. ‘This whole thing. Life. Just one big cruel game of snakes and ladders.’
    â€˜There’s certainly no shortage of snakes,’ said BusyBody looking at OldSmoothie.
    â€˜Yes, and the only ladders you’ve ever got close to are in your tights,’ he replied.
    â€˜Well, little pupil boy,’ purred TheVamp into the ear of the nearest of the two she’d been admiring. ‘How would you like a game of snakes and ladders?’
    With which he blushed, quickly made his excuses and left.
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    Friday 26 October 2007
    Year 2 (week 4): Humiliation
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    On my arrival this morning all I got from HeadClerk was a very curt nod, which was completely out of character for a person who is usually so positive and upbeat. ‘What’s up with HeadClerk?’ I asked TheBusker as I passed him in the corridor later.
    â€˜It’s not good at all,’ he replied. ‘As bad as it gets actually.’
    â€˜What can be that bad?’ I asked innocently.
    â€˜One of OldSmoothie’s solicitors rang up and demanded that HeadClerk double his fee. Said that at its current level it was making their own fees look embarrassingly high to the client.’
    â€˜That sounds great,’ I replied. ‘How can he be annoyed about an increase in our fees?’
    â€˜That’s just it. HeadClerk prides himself on billing top dollar for all his barristers. To then have a solicitor ring up and say that what he’s billed simply isn’t enough . . . well, it hurts . . .’
    Oh.
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    Monday 29 October 2007
    Year 2 (week 5): TheMoldies
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    â€˜They’re all as mad as cheese, BabyB.’ SlipperySlope had called me to talk about BigMouth’s ASBO-attracting blue rinses. ‘They’re far more eccentric than your usual Saga louts with their recycling bins stuffed full of bottles of fine Rioja. No, these ones are quite simply mad, mad, mad and very old. But even if there’s a small chance that there’s something in this, we could be on to a windfall settlement just to keep the whole thing out of the press.’
    â€˜And how do you think I can help?’ I asked him, somewhat confused as to what role I might play in all this.
    â€˜You’re going to be doing the running, BabyB. All the important work.’
    Chief dogsbody more like. But I’m not exactly in a position to argue.
    â€˜I’ll provide the back-up and funding. BigMouth has asked for a two-hundred-pound backhander for every case he refers involving a mad oldie or Moldy as I like to call them. My shout on that. All tax deductible through my er, marketing budget although somehow I doubt it’ll ever appear in his declaration of members’ interests.You, meanwhile, my sharp-witted friend, will get to work growing our little