Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians Read Online Free PDF Page A

the guys in that troupe?
     
    Dave: No, to the best of my knowledge none of them knows who we are. And I’ve met Eric Idle several times, and I don’t think he ever remembers me. And I’ve worked with John Cleese on ‘Will and Grace,’ and he had no idea who I was. In fact, the first day on the show I said, ‘I just want to get this out of the way: I’m a huge fan and very excited to be working with you.’ And he turned to the first assistant director and said, ‘Who is this? Do I have to be nice to him?’ And I said, ‘Only in the most perfunctory way, Mr. Cleese.’
     
    Corey: I’ve been trying to read up on some of the new characters. What can you tell me about the Bartender, the sidekick to Bruce’s Super Drunk?
     
    Dave: Not much. You’ve pretty much encompassed the entire character with that description. It’s a pretty thin characterization. I just try to look heroic with my cocktail shaker, that’s it. In fact, all the characters in that sketch are paper-thin.
     
    Corey: Because you guys are doing a lot of new stuff on this tour, how would you say it compares with the last tour which was, what five, six years ago?
     
    Dave: Yeah, six years ago. I think this is the best live show we’ve ever put on. I’m really happy with how all our new material has turned out. The crowds are really reacting well to it. I don’t think anyone’s missing the old sketches. For us it’s a lot more fun to do stuff that they haven’t seen yet.
     
    Corey: What’s Lorne Michaels’ cell phone number?
     
    Dave: He would never give it to me. I have no idea. I don’t even know if he has a cell phone.
     
    Corey: You’ve explored a time machine theme in a couple sketches. What would you do if you really had access?
     
    Dave: To a time machine? It reminds me of a joke I once made. ‘If I had a time machine, I’d use it to go to the girls’ shower room and watch them shower. Oh wait, that’s invisibility.’
     
    Corey: How is your laser eye surgery holding up? I’ve been thinking about getting it. (In a documentary about the Kids’ 2002 reunion tour, ‘Same Kids, New Dresses,’ Foley gets Lasik eye surgery on camera. It ticked off the other members in the troupe that he would get surgery while they were performing on the road.)
     
    Dave: Oh, Lasik? I love it. I know people are talking; there’s been some bad press about it lately, but I love it. I like that I can watch TV in bed without glasses; fall asleep without my glasses getting all bent out of shape.
     
    Corey: Are you thinking about getting any surgeries on this tour?
     
    Dave: I think I would be well served by a pretty extensive round of Liposuction. That would be pretty good.
     
    Corey: Which characters from the show, either yours or one of the other guys’, would you not mind spending the rest of you life with—or at least a really long weekend?
     
    Dave: I don’t even know if I’d want to spend a weekend with any of the characters from our show. I wouldn’t mind dating some of the women I’ve played.
     
    Corey: How would you explain the TV show to small child if they wanted to know what it was about?
     
    Dave: I would send them out of the room. My 5-year-old came and saw a live show a couple days ago and apparently really liked it. All the dirty stuff, if you don’t understand it, just erase it in the short-term memory. I would make sure the kid knew it wasn’t really a kid’s show.
     

Kids in the Hall—Mark McKinney
     
    Corey: What do you think of fans still trying to ‘crush your head’ after all these years?
     
    Mark McKinney: I hate people that quibble with whatever got them famous, because there’s a lot of really good actors who would kill to be the one always getting their head crushed. I’d like to think that I’d equal that someday with something.
     
    Corey: How did your time as an apprentice writer (with Bruce McCulloch) on ‘Saturday Night Live’ help you when it came time to write as Kids in the