Laugh Lines: Conversations With Comedians Read Online Free PDF Page B

own agenda. Just because your door’s opening doesn’t mean somebody else’s door is ready, and it might not ever be ready and it’s none of your business. That’s how I feel.
     
    Corey: You do a great impression of Queen Elizabeth. Have you heard if the royal family has seen you perform?
     
    Scott: I would love to know. I’m sure some of them have seen it, I’m sure. If the Queen saw me do the Queen, it would thrill me. A lot of comedians do her and especially in the Commonwealth, every comic does the queen, and I like to think mine’s the best. Not because I’m the best at it but because I look like her. I think there’s probably people that do it better, but they don’t look like her.
     
    And I just happen to have this weird genetic connection, I don’t know. I look at my father and he’s the same age as her and he looks just like her. You know how when people get old and men become women and women become men? It’s weird, because he’s her. Charles is my Dad and we are in some kind of line that was broke off like 1,000 years ago or something. The family looks like us; the boys look like my brothers. It’s weird. I think that’s what I’ll do one day is a one-man show where I play all the members. Princess Anne’s a girl I could do, because I’m a pretty horse-y girl and so is she. She was never pretty.
     
    Corey: You guys all played women in the show. Who made the best one?
     
    Scott: Now or then? It’s so cruel. I just don’t want Dave Foley to read this. I would say Dave before.
     
    And now, I still say Dave. The face. He’s just got more feminine features. Oh, he knows; he’s very aware of it. He’s actually kind of perversely proud of it. It thrills me that I’m the ugliest woman, because I’m the gay guy and I’m supposed to be the best. We’re all about shattering stereotypes.
     
    Corey: Did you ever do drag outside of Kids in the Hall?
     
    Scott: My friend, Paul Bellini, and I we were gonna for one whole summer. I had just joined Kids in the Hall. That was our thing. We said we were gonna wear dresses all summer and we did do it. We would go to bars and we would wear our dresses under our clothes and we would let them go down afterward, and they would throw us out at times—especially in gay bars where men are trying to pretend they’re real men—and we’d wear these dresses and they’d be kind of upset with us. But I felt kind of sexy. But we didn’t do it for the whole summer. No, we chickened out. We did tramp around town a bit, walked around Young Street in a dress one Saturday night. That was thrilling. We weren’t in drag; we were just in dresses. No we weren’t pretending to be women; we were just being Scottish.
     
    Corey: Has being an out actor hurt your career at all?
     
    Scott: Yes, honestly, yeah. I think people have a hard time, even with Kids in the Hall. You look at the work in that and the things that we’ve done and Buddy’s just part of what we do. I’m a real mousy guy and I think I probably pissed a lot of people off. I do find it disappointing because it’s almost a castration that’s happening and I really don’t like it and I didn’t know it would happen. I mean, I wouldn’t have changed anything, but I really wish I could have a more varied career. Then I read things. I read something the other day where a guy’s making fun of me, like, ‘Scott Thompson has made a career out of being gay,’ But yeah, you don’t get it, buddy, that’s all they give me. Nobody offers me anything else. I don’t get to even audition for other things, so what do you want? I need to earn a living.
     
    I do my own thing and I do stand-up and I have a one-man show where I do 14 characters. And only one of them is gay, but no one really notices that. I just hold on hoping that role will come along that breaks that for me, and I’m hopeful it will or else I’ll just write it myself. I’ve written two movies that I’m trying to get made and if they get