ladieswear.
NORA: I like that one.
WALLY: Aye.
NORA: What do you mean, ‘Aye’?
WALLY: I mean, ‘OK, so you like that one, great’!
NORA: Do you like it?
WALLY: Do you care?
NORA: Of course I care, I’m not going to wear something if you don’t like it.
WALLY: (Surprised) Starting when?
NORA: Just tell me if you like it.
WALLY: Can I be honest?
NORA: Well, what’s the point of me asking you if you’re not going to be honest?
WALLY: Well, just remember that, and don’t change your mind.
NORA: Do you like it or do you not?
WALLY: I hate it!
Nora lashes out at Wally.
NORA: You cheeky monkey, you’re just being awkward.
WALLY: (Terrified) I like it, I like it!
NORA: I want your honest opinion, and you’d better get it right next time!
‘DRIED DATES AND CODFANGLERS’
Wally has just arrived home on his motorbike when Nora comes outside to see where he’s been.
NORA: Oh, there you are. What have you done with my carpet shampooer. You go off without a word. Suppose you get killed, and there’s me with no carpet shampooer.
Wally can’t hear because he’s still wearing his helmet.
NORA: Why is he not listening to me? (She hits him on top of the helmet) Will you listen to me when I’m shouting at you!
WALLY: (Removes helmet) Good grief, woman, I thought we’d some tiles off.
M EMORIES …
‘I cast Michael Aldridge as Seymour. He had an eccentric look and was a wonderful actor with a brilliant sense of comedy. Roy had written the character as a retired headmaster of a dubious school. He had him living in a remote cottage on his own. We couldn’t find anywhere and were just about to give up, thinking that Roy would have to rewrite it with the character living in the town, like everyone else, when I spotted this boarded up cottage in the distance, not more than a mile from Holmfirth.
‘It was in the middle of a field owned by the Hepworth Iron Company who made pipes from clay in the land. We got permission to film, made the cottage look pretty again and even dug a duck pond. It looked serene in the programme but in reality was on the edge of the moor and the slightest wind was a gale up there.’
ALAN J W BELL (Producer/Director)
NORA: What have you done with my carpet shampooer? And don’t you take another step until you tell me where me carpet shampooer is.
WALLY: Seymour said he could fix it so I let him take it to fix it.
NORA: Have you no more sense?
‘G ET OFF ME STEPS .’ (N ORA )
WALLY: He said he could fix it. He should be able to, he invents things.
NORA: Aye, what he invents most are excuses when he can’t fix it. (Wally puts his helmet on again) And don’t put your helmet back on, you can’t hear me with your helmet on.
WALLY: I know. They cost a fortune, does a good helmet, but they’re worth every penny.
‘THE REALLY MASCULINE PURSE’
Clegg is contemplating the meaning of life.
CLEGG: Do you realise how fortunate it is that lips are at the front? I mean, if they were at the back, you’d never know what you were eating. On the other hand, they’d be ideally placed for kissing goodbye.
D ID YOU KNOW ?
The 1981 Christmas Special, Whoops, beat Gone With the Wind in the ratings.
‘WHO’S FEELING EJECTED, THEN?’
Howard and Marina cautiously emerge from some woods. They’re disappointed, but for different reasons.
HOWARD: I’m sorry I wasn’t able to show you the caterpillar of the woodmoth.
MARINA: It came as a bit of a disappointment to me, too.
‘T HAT CLEARS YOUR CATARAH .’ (C OMPO )
HOWARD: I felt sure once we’d got among the trees, I’d be able to put me hand almost straight on to one.
MARINA: (Sticking her chest out) It wouldn’t have come as any surprise to me!
M EMORIES …
‘The character Roy Clarke drew was outrageous but with a heart of gold. Marina evolved during the two summer seasons before I started on TV. Having a say in what she wore and how she looked, I opted for miniskirts and the brassy blonde style. Initially,
NORA: I like that one.
WALLY: Aye.
NORA: What do you mean, ‘Aye’?
WALLY: I mean, ‘OK, so you like that one, great’!
NORA: Do you like it?
WALLY: Do you care?
NORA: Of course I care, I’m not going to wear something if you don’t like it.
WALLY: (Surprised) Starting when?
NORA: Just tell me if you like it.
WALLY: Can I be honest?
NORA: Well, what’s the point of me asking you if you’re not going to be honest?
WALLY: Well, just remember that, and don’t change your mind.
NORA: Do you like it or do you not?
WALLY: I hate it!
Nora lashes out at Wally.
NORA: You cheeky monkey, you’re just being awkward.
WALLY: (Terrified) I like it, I like it!
NORA: I want your honest opinion, and you’d better get it right next time!
‘DRIED DATES AND CODFANGLERS’
Wally has just arrived home on his motorbike when Nora comes outside to see where he’s been.
NORA: Oh, there you are. What have you done with my carpet shampooer. You go off without a word. Suppose you get killed, and there’s me with no carpet shampooer.
Wally can’t hear because he’s still wearing his helmet.
NORA: Why is he not listening to me? (She hits him on top of the helmet) Will you listen to me when I’m shouting at you!
WALLY: (Removes helmet) Good grief, woman, I thought we’d some tiles off.
M EMORIES …
‘I cast Michael Aldridge as Seymour. He had an eccentric look and was a wonderful actor with a brilliant sense of comedy. Roy had written the character as a retired headmaster of a dubious school. He had him living in a remote cottage on his own. We couldn’t find anywhere and were just about to give up, thinking that Roy would have to rewrite it with the character living in the town, like everyone else, when I spotted this boarded up cottage in the distance, not more than a mile from Holmfirth.
‘It was in the middle of a field owned by the Hepworth Iron Company who made pipes from clay in the land. We got permission to film, made the cottage look pretty again and even dug a duck pond. It looked serene in the programme but in reality was on the edge of the moor and the slightest wind was a gale up there.’
ALAN J W BELL (Producer/Director)
NORA: What have you done with my carpet shampooer? And don’t you take another step until you tell me where me carpet shampooer is.
WALLY: Seymour said he could fix it so I let him take it to fix it.
NORA: Have you no more sense?
‘G ET OFF ME STEPS .’ (N ORA )
WALLY: He said he could fix it. He should be able to, he invents things.
NORA: Aye, what he invents most are excuses when he can’t fix it. (Wally puts his helmet on again) And don’t put your helmet back on, you can’t hear me with your helmet on.
WALLY: I know. They cost a fortune, does a good helmet, but they’re worth every penny.
‘THE REALLY MASCULINE PURSE’
Clegg is contemplating the meaning of life.
CLEGG: Do you realise how fortunate it is that lips are at the front? I mean, if they were at the back, you’d never know what you were eating. On the other hand, they’d be ideally placed for kissing goodbye.
D ID YOU KNOW ?
The 1981 Christmas Special, Whoops, beat Gone With the Wind in the ratings.
‘WHO’S FEELING EJECTED, THEN?’
Howard and Marina cautiously emerge from some woods. They’re disappointed, but for different reasons.
HOWARD: I’m sorry I wasn’t able to show you the caterpillar of the woodmoth.
MARINA: It came as a bit of a disappointment to me, too.
‘T HAT CLEARS YOUR CATARAH .’ (C OMPO )
HOWARD: I felt sure once we’d got among the trees, I’d be able to put me hand almost straight on to one.
MARINA: (Sticking her chest out) It wouldn’t have come as any surprise to me!
M EMORIES …
‘The character Roy Clarke drew was outrageous but with a heart of gold. Marina evolved during the two summer seasons before I started on TV. Having a say in what she wore and how she looked, I opted for miniskirts and the brassy blonde style. Initially,
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