Last of The Summer Wine Read Online Free PDF Page B

summoned into the house by Edie.
    EDIE: Now, wash your hands. I’ve run you some nice hot water—and don’t splash!
    WESLEY: Don’t splash? Have you ever tried dabbling in water without splashing?
    EDIE: Well, three people drowning wouldn’t spread it about worse than you.
    WESLEY: What’s it all in aid of, anyway?
    EDIE: All? All? I have asked you to get your hands clean, that is all. It’s not major surgery. You’ll be on your feet in no time.
    M EMORIES …
    ‘Gordon Wharmby, as Wesley, was a great natural actor. When he came to see me, he’d done bits on TV, but when he read the script, he put so much character into his one line about bringing back a ladder. Impressed, I gave him another script, and although I’d already seen an actor in London for the Wesley part, I asked Gordon to read it. He made the scene very funny and real. He was a painter and decorator and had only done one-lines, but I took the chance and recruited him. He was word-perfect and got big laughs in front of the audience. Two years later, Roy brought him in as a regular character.’
    ALAN J W BELL (Producer/Director)

    WESLEY: I’m just in the middle of giving me engine a tune.
    EDIE: Well, you can play to it later.

‘DANCING FEET’
    Clegg emerges from the Co-op, where Nora and Ivy had been fending off Compo.
    CLEGG: I hate being caught between Ivy and Nora, you never know which way to panic.
    ‘T O ME, TEAM .’ (H OBBO )

‘THAT CERTAIN SMILE’
    Seymour, Clegg and Compo are devising a plan to smuggle Clem Hemmingway’s dog into his hospital ward. As the dog proves to be bad tempered, they call in at Barry and Glenda’s for a sedative. Barry is coming to terms with married life.
    BARRY: I can hardly believe it happened, really. I find meself stopping in front of mirrors. I look at this bloke in the mirror, and I think: ‘That’s you, you fool. You’re married.’ And do you know what’s, what’s really weird? I haven’t got the first idea how it actually happened.
    GLENDA: (Enters room) It happened because I have to make all the decisions for him. (To Seymour) We’ve got these travelsick pills. They make you feel dozy.
    M EMORIES …
    ‘I was working in the theatre when Alan Bell offered me the part. He said Brian Wilde was leaving the show and he was bringing in a new family, with Thora Hird and Michael Aldridge. He wanted me to play the son-in-law. I thought it was a one-off appearance in a feature-length episode. How wrong I was.
    ‘The character was well written so it was obvious what was required. And I struck up a good working relationship with Sarah, who plays Glenda, and we never had a word of disagreement.
    ‘At one point, I was working on three series at once and it was hard keeping everything going: something had to give and that was Summer Wine. I left the show for a while but was pleased when, later, Alan invited me back.
    ‘I’ll never forget filming the episode, ‘Support Your Local Skydiver’, which involved a remote-controlled engine. In fact, a proper-sized engine had been placed on the chassis for the scene involving some of us opening the doors of Wesley’s garage and this vehicle creeping out. But when we did the scene, it flew out, nicking me, nearly hitting others and coming close to wrecking the camera before smashing into the wall of somebody’s house.’
    MIKE GRADY (Barry)

    SEYMOUR: Oh, they’ll be fine, dear, just the job.
    GLENDA: At least, they made me feel dozy. Barry went to sleep.
    BARRY: What’s so terrible about going to sleep?
    GLENDA: We were on honeymoon!

‘DOWNHILL RACER’
    Nora and Ivy are expressing their disapproval of one of the town’s women-folk.
    NORA: Oh, it’s a dead giveaway. Show me an expensive hairstyle and I’ll show you somebody who’s no better than she should be.

‘T HE FORMER M RS T RUELOVE .’ (T RULY )

    IVY: No.
    NORA: I always think, tidy but unattractive is the soundest base for an unblemished reputation.
    IVY: (Takes a long look at Nora)