Knee-Deep in Wonder Read Online Free PDF

daddy,” she said, as she locked the door.

3
    FOR THREE DAYS , Helene and Uncle Ed searched for addresses, found lost insurance policies, and put names to faces. Uncle Ed’s house ballooned, full of murmuring church ladies who hissed softly between their teeth because there was no plastic on the couch or doilies on the coffee table. They skirted round freestanding tables with their thumbs pushed out, testing for dust. “A man’s house,” they whispered, as the daughter who was not the daughter put iced tea in their hands and received mountains of potato salad and tuna casserole. Helpless, Helene searched their faces, looking for the blank spots in which to place a smile.
    She made sure to stay close to Uncle Ed. Together, their hands reached for Annie b’s basil seeds and old shoes, since they wanted to clutch at more than their sorrow. They tried not to observe themselves as they nodded with grace and composure at women Aunt Annie b had hated. Twelve hundred dollars later, she lay in her open coffin, on view so her close friends and sisters could gasp and see the ill-chosen lipstick she wore and the new dress Ed and Helene had had to buy because Annie b owned only Levi’s. Everyone stared at the stitches showing through the bright pink lipstick, there to hold her lips together; the coroner had had to break her jaw because she had died with her mouth open.
    â€œI think the funeral home really outdid itself,” Helene said, leaving the viewing.
    â€œYou right about that.” As he spoke, Uncle Ed smoothed down his rumpled tie. “Been so busy with Annie b, ain’t had time to ask how you been.”
    â€œOh, you know me. Same as always.”
    â€œYou still working at that nursing home?”
    â€œYup.”
    â€œBeen there—what, three years?”
    â€œGoing on four.”
    â€œTime sho can get behind you if you let it.” They stood together in the parking lot. “Here come Ms. Tilly.” An old woman walked toward them.
    â€œEd, Ms. Annie looked just beautiful.”
    â€œThank you, Ms. Tilly, thank you.”
    â€œAnd I thought her dress was just lovely.”
    â€œThank you, Ms. Tilly.” Ed turned to Helene. “You remember my niece, Ms. Tilly?”
    â€œIs that Helene?”
    â€œYes, ma’am,” Helene said.
    â€œGirl, you done got so big. Last time I seen you, you couldn’t of been taller than my knee. You turned into a good-looking girl.”
    â€œThank you, Ms. Tilly.”
    â€œDon’t thank me, baby, thank your mama.” Mrs. Tilly laughed into her hand, and Ed watched Helene’s face darken.
    â€œI don’t want to keep you, Ms. Tilly,” Ed said, as he moved farther into the parking lot toward his car.
    â€œOh, I ain’t got to be nowhere. So what you doing now with yourself, Helene?”
    â€œJust the same-old same-old. I work at a nursing home in D.C.”
    â€œYou got family there?”
    â€œNo, just me.”
    â€œYou ain’t married yet?”
    â€œNo, no, not yet.”
    â€œI got a daughter bout you age. Husband work for the post office. I got three little grandchildren.” Ms. Tilly dug into her purse and pulled out a bundle of photos. “That there’s Reginald, Tyron, and LaShay. Last year’s Christmas.”
    â€œExcuse me for cutting you, Ms. Tilly, but we still got some things to tend to back at the house.” Ed grabbed Helene’s elbow and steered her away. “I’ll see you at the funeral, Ms. Tilly,” he called out.
    Helene and Ed got into the car in silence, though Ed tried to jump-start the conversation. “We got a movie house down the block there. Saw Shaft with Annie b couple years back. Remember me telling you about that catfish place, Tin Tin? Right there on your left.” But Helene’s responses were halfhearted. Ed searched his niece’s face as he drove and saw her longing. She wanted mother love, deep