Knee-Deep in Wonder Read Online Free PDF Page A

small child at her side. Her daughter moved slightly, curious to see her mother’s face as she spoke. Only Liberty’s heavy hand forced her daughter’s eyes to the floor. Nevertheless, Queen Ester heard it, almost saw it: her mother’s fumbling. “He was the one, not me.” Liberty’s voice tilted upward, trying to lay blame for their last fight on Sweets, the fight that made him tumble out their front door in the middle of the night, leaving it ajar.
    *   *   *
    He had snuck up behind her while she was dressing Queen Ester. “That child gone be your undoing.” Liberty didn’t hear a word he said, her lips pressed firmly against her child’s belly. “Liberty, you hear me?” She turned her head then, a small smile on her lips. “You can’t keep kissing on her like that.”
    â€œWhy come? Ain’t she mine?”
    â€œShe damn near seven years old.”
    â€œShe still a baby.” Liberty dipped her head to kiss Queen Ester’s naked stomach.
    Sweets caught her chin, stopping her. “You quit on that, you hear?”
    She had been sitting, but now with her chin caught in his hand she rose, throwing a tall shadow over her husband. “You let loose, Sweets.” She said her words calmly, as if she were telling a dog to sit. “Just let loose.”
    â€œAin’t nothing of mine gone talk to me like that.” His hand whirled back, only to be caught by Liberty’s own fast hand.
    â€œI ain’t nothing of yours. Who told you that?” She laughed, an unexpected sound to both their ears, her laughter swollen with anger.
    â€œYou hush up now.”
    â€œAin’t.” Her hand let go of his, quickly pulling back to push him.
    â€œYou ain’t big enough for that,” Sweets said, struggling under the blunt push of her hand.
    â€œBut ain’t I though? Ain’t I?” She laughed again and kicked him, striking his left knee. “Who ain’t big enough for what round here? Telling me what to do with my own baby.” Her foot rose again, striking the empty air. Sweets, hurt but quick, had scrambled to the open bedroom door and stood inside its frame. He looked at his wife and her gaping laughing mouth. She had grown four inches since he had known her.
    â€œNow I ain’t gone get tore up in my own house.”
    â€œYou just keep on out of my way. Or the next time you take ahold of my chin, I ain’t gone let you get away.” He heard the menace in her voice and said nothing. But later, in the middle of the night, he left, not taking anything with him except the bulge in his pocket. In his haste, Sweets left the front door open. Now, Liberty stood before the door, knowing that her husband was not coming back. That make three of them, she thought: Mama, Daddy, and Sweets. Two out the door and one out the window. Well, don’t that beat all.
    *   *   *
    Liberty swallowed a knot of hurt. “Niggers got to live they life in threes, I know that much. So I spose leaving and Liberty is through. Cause ain’t nothing of mine gone ever get left by me.” Although she had not paused, her voice had stopped fumbling. Queen Ester lifted her head, watching her mother’s face. “You gone stay with me forever and ever. No child of mine gone have to kiss some baby only to get slapped away.”
    Close the door, close it, the small child thought, looking at the anger in her mother’s face, not knowing that she too felt something, a displaced fury that should have landed on Sweets. But with his absence she aimed it at the door, which seemed to look not only thrown open but mocking. At last, Queen Ester pulled away from her mother’s hand and said slowly, “Ain’t we ought to close the door?”
    Liberty smiled at her daughter’s full-grown voice. Mama and baby both, she thought, reaching for the knob.
    â€œThere goes your son-of-a-bitch