Heâll hurt himself!â
There was complete silence in the theater for a moment, a dangerous silence. Then Arby said, very quietly, âWarmun, I am directing this play, for this century, and you will all do exactly what I tell you.â
It was a weird thing to say, but there was absolute authority in his voice. Nobody said anything.
âItâs your cue, Oberon,â Arby said.
So Gil went on with the scene, until the point where Demetrius comes on, pursued by unlucky Helena (who loves him), ungratefully trying to get rid of her as he hunts the eloping Hermia (whom he loves) and Lysander. And I went backstage to wait for my next entrance.
Itâs Puck who causes most of the trouble in A Midsummer Nightâs Dream. After Oberon has squeezed his magic herbâs juice on Titaniaâs sleeping eyes, so that she will fallin love with the first thing she sees when she wakes, Puck finds the mechanicals rehearsing their play in the wood, and changes Bottomâs head into a donkeyâs head. Bottomâs friends run away, terrifiedâand guess who Titania first when she wakes?
Oberon has seen Demetrius being mean to Helena, and felt sorry for her, so he tells Puck to squeeze the magic juice on his eyes too, so that heâll switch from Hermia to Helena. Unfortunately Puck mistakes Lysander for Demetrius, and instead of sorting out the lovers he makes things worse. Pretty soon neither girl has the right guy in love with her, each of them is mad at the other, and the men are threatening to kill one another.
I had a great time leading each guy about the stage in the dark, putting on a deep voice to make him think I was the other oneâuntil at last by the end of Act Three, which Arby had chosen as the place for our intermission, all four lovers were asleep and things could be sorted out by having Lysander fall back in love with Hermia.
I said, squeezing the juice on his eyelids:
Â
âWhen thou wakâst
Thou takâst
True delight
In the sight
Of thy former ladyâs eye;
And the country proverb known,
That every man should take his own,
In your waking shall be shown:
Jack shall have Jill,
Nought shall go ill.
The man shall have his mare again,
    and all shall he wellâ
Â
And these last three lines I said out to the audience, or rather to the empty theater where the audience would be, and they jarred me suddenly out of my happy time, my acting time. All shall he well. I knew as I said it that it was a lie, Shakespeareâs lie, because I knew from my own life that all does not go well, but that terrible things happen to people and cannot be put right, by magic flower-juice or by anything else in this world.
As I stood there on the stage, for the third time that day there was the weird blurring around me, as if I were underwater, and a buzzing in my head like the voices of a crowd, and through it a faint thread of music. The stage pillars and the galleries beyond them seemed to tilt and sway, and I felt myself stagger.
âNat?â said Arbyâs voice from out front, inquiringly.
Gil must have been watching me from behind the upstage curtain, because suddenly he was out on the stage, holding me by the shoulders, looking down into my face in concern. âWhatâs wrong, kid? Are you okay?â
âSure,â I said. And sure, yes, I was okay, for as long as the play would last. Until I got back to real life, where nothing could ever really be okay again.
Gil and Rachel walked me back to the Fishersâ that afternoon, even though the giddiness was gone again in minutes, just as it had been before. Everyone seemed to be treating me like some fragile piece of china, even Arbyâthough I guess that was understandable because he didnâtwant anything to happen to his Puck. Eric was my understudy, and his voice projection was better than his tumbling.
I felt healthy enough, all through supper with Mr. and Mrs. Fisher and